ONS Giveaway: Literary Rhyming Slang
For ages now, I’ve had two copies of Lewis Young’s brilliant short fiction pamphlet Fabric Of Society sitting on my bedside table, waiting to be given away here on ONS. Lewis is a brilliant young writer from Newcastle who’s had fiction and poetry published by Read This Magazine and The Slovo. Fabric of Society is such a cool (and beautiful!) book that I wanted to set you all an equally cool challenge to determine who’d get the free copies… hence the wait, while I figured it out.
Thankfully, former Featured Poet Amy Blakemore came to my rescue with a comment on my New Slang post of last week. Her comment goes thus:
“In 2007 me and a couple of friends made up poet rhyming slang. This mainly started because one of said friends messed up some photocopying he was doing. then this happened;
‘You’ve cocked that up.’
‘Cock? Prufrock?’
‘Get your J. Alfred out.’
‘It’s all gone a bit J. Alfred.’
So basically, we had J. Alfred for the male genitalia. and that was about as far as we got with poet rhyming slang. You could use ‘William’, for shake, as in William Blake, shake.
‘The mayonnaise is stuck in the bottom of the jar? Well, give it a William.’”
Personally, I reckon this is a hilarious and inspired idea. What other brilliant literary rhymes could you come up with? Surely the sky’s the limit, right? Particularly if you extend beyond the poetic to include famous figures from prose and drama as well. Well… the ball is now in your court, dear readers! If you fancy getting your hands on one of Lewis’ lovely books (there are TWO up for grabs, remember!) then get thee to the comments box and divulge your literary rhyming slang inventions. They can be perfect rhymes or creaky assonance, as serious or silly as you like… extra points for effort and originality! Just get your responses to me by midnight GMT on 1st October… no other rules! Spread the word… and get rhyming!
Don’t forget The One Night Stanzas Store, my Etsy store, and their little sister, Edinburgh Vintage!
Tags: advice for young writers, ons giveaway, publishing, resources for young writers, young poets
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I assume I’m not allowed to enter by default, so I’ll just leave some author-surname testicle-substitutions. Awesome idea by the way!
“She got me right in the Bukowskis.”
“I sat down too quickly and squashed my Ballards.”
“After last night, you wouldn’t believe the pain in my Salingers.”
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:34 pm
My first cheesy thought is this:
The Titanic was hit by an Allen.
Hmm…
I’ll have to think harder.
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Geoffrey Hill - bill: “Oh no: another pile of Geoffreys through the letter box.”
I’ll be back with more …
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Anyone that has read all his books, up to and including “The Lost Symbol” is now a “5th Dan”.
Any book you cannot put down is accursed with “Brownian Motion”.
Neither of which rhyme.
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
“Have you heard the Ted Hughes?” News
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 am
“That portion was a bit Seamus Heaney” (teeny)
“Open the window. It’s a bit Carol-Ann in here.” (stuffy)
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm
“I’m off for a long hot soak in the Sylvia Plath…”
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:34 pm
“I lost my job… back on the Robert Lowell!”
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
“It’s not really my cup of H.D.”
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
William Butler Yeats: Mates
Ezra Pound: Round (up or down, numerically)
Christina Rossetti: Confetti
Eugene O’Neill: Deal
As in the following utterly contrived situation of a man purchasing a plastic horsehoe bedecked with white ribbons in cardboard presentation box at the card stall in Romford Market.
Stallholder presents man with desired object: ‘Ows ‘ at? “To the Bride and Groom wiv Good Luck an’ Best Wishes”
Man: ‘Ow Much?
Stallholder: £25.99
Man: Wot?!
Stallholder: Tell yer wot. Seeing as we’re William Butlers, I’ll Ezra it dahn an’ chuck in a box a’ Christina fer free. Call it a pony.
Man: Mate, yer got yerself a Eugene. (Hands over £25). Well pleased.
September 24th, 2009 at 1:51 am
The barber cut off all my Baudelaire
Up a creek without a Ruth Padel
Oh I’m sure you’ll be able to Wendy (=Cope)
I could Johann Wolfgang Von a sandwich right now (=Goethe=murder???)
September 25th, 2009 at 3:25 am
“It’s just my brain’s been right wrong as of Charlie, and I’ve brought myself a badu’nn to suit the wine tastings.”
I have no idea. (Bates= late= Charlie Bates)
September 25th, 2009 at 3:28 am
“Need t’get inside and get Gary D.? Ah, give it an Oliver. The key’ll come right loose.”
(Gary D. Schmit it one of my favorite authors. G= lit- Oliver= Twist :D
October 7th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
[...] Giveaway, Fabric of Society: the winners! You may recall that a few days ago I challenged you all to come up with your own examples of literary rhyming slang… and the prize? One of two copies of Lewis Young’s fantastic debut short fiction [...]