FYI

Because I’m tired of having to get cranky at people on Twitter, here are some Things You Should Never Say when I am around. Or preferably, at all. Good luck!

“Don’t be so hyper sensitive, I was just joking!” (or indeed, any of this or this.)

“But creative writing can’t be taught.”

“I hate [insert minority group here] because [insert reason here].”

“It’s not poetry if it doesn’t rhyme.”

“…but animals are so tasty!”

“The government is right to cut arts funding — we don’t need artists!”

“You look great, have you lost weight?”

“I’m supporting anyone but England.”

“I don’t buy clothes from charity shops because someone might have died in them.”

“Who pays for you to eat?”

What are the things no one should say around YOU? Answers in the comments box!

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One Night Stanzas loves mail. Say hello via claire@onenightstanzas.com. NB: I am physically unable to reply to non-urgent stuff unless I have a free afternoon and a cup of tea in my hand. Please be patient!

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5 Responses to “FYI”

  1. Ben Gwalchmai Says:

    “Ah, you’re a *Welsh* writer.”

    “So do you write like Dylan Thomas?”

    [Yes, I am Welsh and no, I don't mind discussing it but please don't think it immediately means something - it doesn't. Was Hemingway a particularly American writer before American writers started impersonating Hemingway? No. Walt Whitman was. Was Walt Whitman a particularly American poet before he tried to invent himself as the quintessential American poet? No. Also, of course I like Dylan Thomas...but that's not the point.]

    “That’s so…*gay*” [Are we 12, still, hmm? Is that it?]

    These are offered with a slight affection as I’ve had them as an affliction for long enough now to give a wry smile to them.

  2. Claire Says:

    Ben — I can’t believe I forgot “that’s so gay!” I teach students who’re mostly under 21 and hear (and correct) this aaaall the time. Fnnng!

    I occasionally get the same thing about being a Scottish / lady writer. I once had a guy come up to me after a poetry reading to say he really liked that I wasn’t afraid to write “girl poems.”

  3. Gareth Says:

    “I don’t know why actors get so much respect; I’ve never seen them do anything I couldn’t do” — and variations thereof.

    Unless you’re exclusively watching vapid crap “acted” by untrained mediocrities, then yes, you have. The better it is, the easier it looks. To do it well is an art.

    Also jumping on the “that’s so gay” bandwagon. >.<

  4. Rachel Fox Says:

    My least favourite is “This’ll make you want to slit your wrists” (about sad music, film etc.). My preferred reply is “Now I have to kill you - do you have a favourite method?”
    x

  5. One Night Stanzas » Blog Archive » Me, my “writing room”, and our weird relationship Says:

    [...] of study for a PhD in Creative Writing. As well as putting up with being told numerous times that Creative Writing can’t be taught, much less turned into a legitimate subject for postgraduate study (a whole other story), this [...]