Procrastination Station #9

Here’s my link list for this week!

I am unbelievably excited about Halloween this year, and if you are too, then look no further:
Pumpkin Carving 101 // Halloween… 365 days a year! // The worst Halloween costumes EVER // The Halloweens of your youth // Halloween Recipes // Decorated Halloween food // Pumpkin sculptures // … and what Halloween preparations would be complete without this?!
Keep an eye out for a Halloween Special Procrastination Station next week!!

I recently found this rather hilarious guide to “isms”, and on a more serious note… do you know what ’sic’ means?

A while ago I mentioned the whole Issue 1 thing… well, apparently it was made via this site.

Here’s some interesting writing/poetry reading advice for you…

Be more creative and get happy with The Abundance Blog.

Remember the self-portrait poetry workshop I mentioned? Here are the resulting poems! Also, which literary character do you think has the worst name?

If you’re a bit of a nighthawk, good news: brainwaves are most likely to strike after 10pm! Plus… how lucky are the people who can write on their own skin?!

One of my favourite books, Lolita, has turned fifty.

I can’t stop listening to this song. Or, er… this one.

+ Taylor Mali is a freaking genius.

Polaroid went out of business, which is sad. However! You can now turn your digital photos into Polaroids!

I have thank-yous to say!! As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I was recently interviewed by Jim at The Truth About Lies. You can now see both parts of the interview, here and here. Thanks not only to Jim but also to anyone who took the time to leave a comment!
Thanks to Mark Reep for linking to some of my poemsyou may well be seeing Mark’s artwork in Read This soon!
And congrats to Lucy D, who was so inspired by ONS that she went out and got herself published! You go girl.

& finally… I seriously want one of these.

What’s caught your eye on the interweb this week??

(Photo by Lungstruck)

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7 Responses to “Procrastination Station #9”

  1. Simon Freedman Says:

    Is Lolita only 50? For some reason I was under the impression it was older, shows you what I know.

    I read that book in the April sunshine on the campus green at Reading Uni; the only thing that broke up my sittings was popping back to the Union the get more Newkie Browns……happy days

    great Kubrick film too, my favourite Peter Sellers performance(s) ever

  2. Funny Halloween » Blog Archive » Procrastination Station #9 Says:

    [...] admin wrote an interesting post today onProcrastination Station #9Here’s a quick excerptThe worst Halloween costumes EVER // The Halloweens of your youth // Halloween Recipes // Decorated Halloween food // Pumpkin sculptures // … and what Halloween preparations would be complete without this? … [...]

  3. Ho Way race Says:



    This is the link to a talk portal currently with four members, two of whom are me, one a dissaffected defector from the fire gaffe and the other Askew.

    Poetry Society

    This is the third chat gaffe i have created in the last two years, on the path of learning i’ve been on for the last seven yrs, which began on 2 January 2001 as the age of 34, when i began writing and immediately - more by chance than design - fell into a *fastrack to higher education* course targeted at long term dossers, in May of that year in my home town of Ormskirk in SW Lancashire and from 2001 to july 2004, was a very happy and hard writing grey head old git surrounded by my earlierst co-writer colleagues, on a Writing and Drama BA, having been lucky, not had to go through yrs in cafes waitin for the Muse to turn up and offer me a ten book deal on the strength of a judge/publisher recognisin my potential and pluckin me from obscurity, based on a thoughtful pensive stare and writerly tilt of the beret and seven shades of kafkan i wore back then, when starting out as writers do, lookin for a shortcut from others further up the food chain to be our mate and share the gen on how this slippy but magic authorial force can be gotten hold of.

    Havin not an education at this point, meant my intellectual development occurred parrallel with the creative one, and so i was very very lucky and double lucky to have Robert Sheppard - who wrote Bob Cobbings obituary for the Guardian - a radical intelelctual linguistically innovative poet whose school is the poor relation of the Lyric mobs in Britain, but whose transatlantic L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E sibling — headed by PR supremo Ronstar Sillyman and intellectual/creative brains behind the firm, Charles Bernstein whose glittering career has been spent at the NY state university at Buffallo - is dominant or at least on a par with the Lyric mob in America.

    Bernstein’s rare gift is possessing an intelligence matched by his artisitic ability, and his glittering career which saw him with Bruce Andrews, edit the 13 issues of L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E Magazine, between 1978 and 1980.

    This mag was the most prominent in the history and lore of Language poetry, and in 1984 he and Andrews brought out selections from the 13 issues in The L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E Book.

    Bernstein had the first of his 14 books of poetry - four of crit and two of translation - out at 25 in 1975 and during the seventies was a freelance editor, and by 1989 was David Gray Professor of Poetry and Letters at the University at Buffalo, where co-founded and directed the Poetics Program. He also co-founded The Electronic Poetry Center at Buffalo and at the mo, is the Donald T. Regan Professor of English at the University of Pennsylvania, where he co-founded PennSound.

    Bernstein meteroic ascent as the godfather of the online clever clogs, was at the very first appearance of the net in the early nineties, around the age i am now, after setting up the first poetry chat gaffe which was originally called the Universioty of Buffallo Poetics discussion group and is now the Buffalo Poetics List. Reading the posts of the first three years of this list, reveal the birth of a movement in which leading American poets such as Bernstein, Robert Creely, Susan Howe, Pierre Joris, Alice Notley, Marjorie Perloff, Silliman, Keith Tuma and numerous others, chat amongst themselves like kids in a guilt-free new playground, all intellectuals, all poets and happy to various degrees.

    At this point it was invite only and all new, and then around - i think 1997 - as the thing started growing very big and moving away from the perfectly sized debating chamber of America’s leading poets, a commtted troll comes in and starts the aggro, in what is a clear attempt at raising their profile by any means necessary to get noticed, garbling bollix and then the genuine poets move out the picture as the place mushrooms into what it has become. The largest online intellectual ad-board on the planet for the avant garde poetries with a global membership but very heavy American core.

    The historic first post on Monday 7 March 1994 at 21:45:40, by Sicilian American poet (on his father’s side) Joe Amato opened:

    “i must admit to being taken by a sense of place, and corresponding

    for me, whatever creative possibilites emerge from disruptions in place
    move me to thresholds—cognitive, emotional—that are often painful… in
    part because place for me IS the timing of space, a spacing in time replete
    with boundaries…”

    And after an effortless - what reads like an - extemporised flight Amato made on this then brand new spankers and unknown, almost secretive virtual space for a - then - invitation only list the top American intellectual poets had their first new info-tech fun on, A ends:

    “if ‘i don’t know where i stand,’ exactly, i’m damn well gonna have to be
    standing someplace, metaphysically speaking… looking out toward the
    shifting horizon, trying to figure the when’s and where’s of things as i
    find them…”

    Bernsteins seminal I Don’t Take Voicemail first delivered orally as “The Art Object in the an Age of Electronic Technology” — presented at a symposium, sponsored by the Parsons School of Design, at the New School in New York, on April 16, 1994 - lays out his vision of how this then, very new communication technology, will pan out and his poetical prophecy was accurate in many respects:

    “The most radical characteristic of the internet as a medium
    is its interconnectivity. At every point receivers are also
    transmitters. It is a medium defined by exchange rather than
    delivery; the medium is interactive and dialogic rather than
    unidirectional or monologic. At this moment, the most
    interesting format on the internet, apart from the basic
    electronic mail function, is the listserve: a series of
    individuals join a list–any post to the list address is
    immediately delivered to all list subscribers.

    Individuals can then post replies to the entire list or to the individual that
    sent the post. Lists may be open to anyone to join or may be
    private. The potential for discussion and collaboration is appealing–the format mixes some of the features of correspondence with a discussion group, conference call, and a panel symposium such as this one (with the crucial difference that the distinction between audience and panel is eroded).

    …just as today’s artworld is dominated by the marketing, sales, and promotion, so the object of art in the age of electronic technology will continue to be profit; and the values most typically promoted by the art world will continue to be governed by market, rather than aesthetic,
    formal, philosophical or ethical, values….

    …Of course, today’s internet — a decentralized, largely text-based, linking of individual sites or constellations of users — will be superseded by what is aptly called the in-formation superhighway. Just as the old dirt roads and smaller rural routes were largely abandoned by the megatraffic on the
    interstates, so much of the present informal, non-capital
    intensive exchanges on the net will become marginal back channels
    in a communications systems largely owned and controlled by Time
    & Space, Inc. and other giant telecommunication conglomerates,
    providing new and continually recirculating versions of the USA Today with up to the minute weather and sports information, sound files offering *Nirvana: The Classic Years* including alternate studio versions, hypertext tours with high resolution graphics of the British Museum collection, plus hundreds of other choices, available at the click of an icon, including items never before available in any media such as *In Her Home: the Barbara Streisand Collection*; a construct-it-yourself simulation of making a Shaker chair; and a color-it-yourself portfolio of the
    complete appropriations of Sherrie Levine, together with hyper-textually linked case dossiers of all related legal suits. All with modest fees for each hour of viewing or receiving (the gaze finally quantified and sold)”


    This has been proven and Holland publically claimed on the radio on Monday, she is all for opening up free speech and for poetry to be taken out of the hands of the elite - as long as she gets to be gatekeeper, a word she used to describe herself, jokingly with a smiley caveat, but we all know the score now. She means it and this post of hers decrying the youth is the equivalent of OAP’s moaning about how different and better it was when they were a kid. If Holland was a red hot on fire poet live, fair do’s but the truth is, we aint heard her read online so have to take her word that what she says is true, about the kids not showing her any respect, bein appalled on the entire poetic population of Britain, and none allowed to ask or voice even the simplest of non-Holland world-views in Herr Dictatters very heavily regulated and commando patrolled chat gaffe she voluntarily stars in as a heavy user of emoticons who banned me as Tony Johnston for a post she said was about biggin my *friends and aquintances* up, who were all poets, most of whom women and using the very methiod she claims she wants to see, the one Askew uses with lots of links to the live youtube readings, myspace and blogger profiles and textual examples.

    In her rant at the kids of today hey, she implores them to speak with their iown voice, and yet booted me out of her gaffe for doing that, paying me the best compliment any poet can have, not even realising the irony of her words, that i was *unable to disguise* my voice. Then a few weeks later, is exhorting some young poets she says she isn’t gonna publically name and shame (though they of course will know who they are), sowing paranoia amongst them, who know who she is, who know she operates Poets on Fire where everyone feels they have to join, just coz everyone else is, and now with Horizon, well watch it kids, do you know who moi is bollix.

    Anyway i could go on, but if you wanna speak freely, at this new Poetry Society, please feel free to join.

    At the mo i am the only one with the password to the admin controls, and am not interested in controlling what you say, as i am a happy spammer and can speak for myself and am only interested in my own career, and doing this is similar to what Bernstein did. I mean i aint gonna tell yer a loada baloney about being deeply concerned about blah blah blah because i am doing it now, after seven yrs 12-14 hours a day reading, writing and reciting with an expert interest in Irish myth.

    All i wanna do is out the stuff i have been taking on, the truth of the bardic tradition which is not talked about bythe vasy majority of poets, because they do not know it, whereas i spent three years at uni getting educated, doing a course perfect for a person whose light of learning got switched on first at 35, always happy, never moaning, got slung off poem uk and then poets on fire for being sincere, for upsetting others who thought themselves very very important, but who i have proved to my own satisfaction, had done so on grounds of feeling afraid of a talented happy poet.

    Basically i got an A in my mock O’level as expected, as i was playing major shakespearean roles (ok well on Malvolio) at 14, onstage in school where the mimic Jon Culshaw was the yr below me, and he was the class clown and got grief for who he was, but i always said to him in the few times we hung about partying as teenagers, eff em cullie lad - because at that point in our careers, i was the bigger star in showbiz as Ormskirks chief comedic actor and clown gob and am shamelessly using his name now, to get you reading, so come along and chat, as it makes no difference really if no one comes, as the point of writing and poetry in particular is, anyone can have a go.

    Unfortunately the English lyric tradtion meant until now, that one had to attend oxbridge to be considered a real English poet of the highest order, which means that 99% of British people who don’t attend there for an education are at a clear disadvantage. Who are the top poets there now?

    exactly, so come to the real Poetry Society and chat in the cafe, and the thing about these gaffes is any number of forums can be created, and can be concealed or made visible to any amount of memebr/s, from one to the entire community, which means it is ideal for doing one on one sessions for members not at the stage of confidence i or Holland are.

    All i am interested in is being the best i can and am very lucky as my folks are full Irish bloods and my surnale name in Irish, Deasmhuman, Desmond, is one of the most loaded, as it was the Earls of Desmond’s first and second rebellion in Tudor times which saw them go from being the rulers of Munster, to the final Earl being hacked down by a kern and his head gettin sent to E1 and spiked on the bridge or tower there, and i am the first male Desmond in the immediate paternal line of my family to have received a higher education.

    My father trained as a carpenter, his Cornelius, (Con) was a labourer from Macroom west Cork where the majority of Desmonds in Ireland live still, a very localised cluster with most Desmond family’s myth being, we are the last to come from the earls of Desmond. Con, my grandfather also never had higher education, due to the circumstances then in Ireland and gawd knows what the truth is about who i am, but we all can dream and our dreams as valid and eiqual, as on the page, it is the writing that counts, and you only learn by doing it, so love and peace reader/s.

  4. Ho Way race Says:

    oops, forgot to say, that in my real O level exam i got a U (ungradable) which is

    A B C D E F - U

    ..from the best to worst, and it took me 24 yrs to figure out what happened. A person who had not played Malvolio on stage at 14 and was star of the show in Twelfth Night and whose by far best subject was the English language and lit - reacted in such a way as to bin me off as having zero talent. not through jealously of course, but blah blah blah..

    gra agus siochain

    love and peace.

  5. Claire Says:

    Des: just to let you know, your post was only marked for Mod because of length. Cheers.

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