Who’s your secret literary crush?
I came across this article on the Guardian Books Blog (probably my all-time favourite site… I spend hours of my life there as you probably all know by now from reading Procrastination Station!), basically asking which literary figures (characters in particular, I think) get readers somewhat hot and bothered. Of course, the usual suspects are mentioned… Fitzwilliam Darcy and Lord of the Rings’ Aragorn (characters which have both doubtless gained popularity thanks to the careful casting of their TV and film incarnations!). But I’m interested to hear YOUR literary crushes… and don’t be shy! A straight male acquaintance of mine, who shall remain nameless, has a slightly unhealthy obsession with Shakespeare’s Iago. If you can get weirder that that, I want to hear it!
As for my personal literary heart-throbs…
Well, when I was young and impressionable, I’m afraid my choices were rather obvious - I’ve never really got over my love affair with Heathcliff, for example. We read Lewis Grassic Gibbon’s Sunset Song in English class, and for the first dozen-or-so chapters I had a certain admiration for Ewen Tavendale, until his sinister, PSTD-triggered character change about halfway through. I was also a great big Lord of the Rings geek during my teens and - rather than going for the obvious choice - I was pretty taken by the wise and whimsical Legolas, whose character was absolutely mauled in the movie by these two idiots. Sigh.
However, my first proper literary crush was probably on an author, and that author is Neil Gaiman. I discovered him about five years ago while living in digs with my now best friend Martyna. Gaiman is an underground cult sensation in her native Poland and, ecstatic to find that he was so popular here in the UK, she was shocked when I hadn’t heard of him. She introduced me to all his books and we’d talk fanatically about him, referring to him as just “Neil” - because of course we knew him well enough to be on first-name terms! We went to see him read from the then-newly-released Anansi Boys, and got to have a quick chat with him afterwards… as you can imagine, Martyna and I were basically just quivering pools of girly goo, and The Boy (who I misguidedly allowed to come along) was the only one who spoke any sense. (As a result, he got a personalised message in the front of his copy and Martyna and I got the standard signature like everyone else! Argh!)
(Check out Neil’s advice for young writers!)
I still carry a bit of a torch for Neil, naturally, but I have of course developed other literary crushes. Perhaps because I’m a hoarder of vinyl records myself, Nick Hornby’s awesome High Fidelity is one of my all-time top five books (yep), and my guilty-secret crush on Barry was only exacerbated by Jack Black’s portrayal of him in the movie. I also have a bit of a thing for the weird and macabre Duncan in Margaret Atwood’s The Edible Woman, and of course, there’s the ultimate literary pin-up boy…
As for poets… well, you all know about my somewhat bizarre crush on this guy. Percy Shelley (Byron’s just a bit too nuts) and Bramwell Bronte, too. Basically, I have a bit of a weakness for poet-boys in general, which can cause problems sometimes…
Anyway, enough about me. Who’s YOUR literary crush??
Tags: advice for young writers, publishing, resources for young writers, who is your secret literary crush, young poets
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Difficult one Claire. Some of my literary crushes are living poets, who might take my vote the wrong way (even if it’s the right way). And I suppose if I say Sappho that’ll be taken the wrong way too. I’ll play safe and say Sei Shonagon and Murasaki Shikibu - 11th century Japanese writers. And Aphra Behn, 17th century English writer. And two Charlottes - Smith and Mew - both wonderful poets.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:20 pm
high fidelity is in your top five! now that needs some explaining. and the other four.
but anyway, can you get a crush on a literary figure? i’m struggling with it - they’re just so….fictional! i liked jane eyre tho she’d be unlikely to come within a country mile of me, tho rochester, you never know
i had to give this a think, browse the book shelves and then get back to my adolescence when i did actually read tolkien. i thought eowyn was a kick ass character then, and was sorely disappointed by her in the film.
the rest say much about the reading material i had when i grew up. they are -
artemis - butchers actaeon for being a peeping tom. hard core! plus a bit of an archer but that’s another story
athena - goddess of wisdom. what more do you want? foxy, foxy, foxy!
freya - it’s a norse thing
morrigan - the crow goddess. i mean. how cool is that?
blokes? i can’t say. we’ll always have brokeback…
actual people? marina warner could read me the phone book and i’d be a happy wee fanboy. and anne sexton, the only dead woman i’ll ever love…
November 4th, 2008 at 12:08 am
I hold my lighter aloft in reply to your crush on Gaiman.
And in the vein of poetry-writing English blokes involved with comics (which leads us to Alan Moore), the one literary character I’d turn into a pool of goo around is Promethea, no doubt helped by the deep mystical and mythological roots her story has.
I’m wracking my brains trying to think of any others, but my books are in storage and all my other crushes are from talking pictures that move…
November 4th, 2008 at 1:35 am
George Watsky’s a bit on the skinny end, don’t you think, Claire?
Joking aside, I’ve really never been infatuated with any writers or literary figures — but that’s not a really fun answer! Let’s see….
If I lived during John Donne’s time, I would’ve definitely tried pulling him away from his religious duties, if you know what I mean. His approach to poetry is a bit different from his fellow poets during his time (at least that’s what I see), which I like immensely….
As far as contemporary poets, Kim Addonizio just really hits the mark with me, not to mention she has that sassy, mysterious look about her that makes me raise an eyebrow. It’s probably the dark hair and the frankness of her more sex-related poems. No — it’s definitely her strong voice, of which I probably absorb too much into my writing.
And poor Legolas… which actor do you think would’ve done a better job?
November 4th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Hmm, my literary crushes are more likely to be actual authors rather than characters… and they’re not CRUSHES as such, more like… role models, I guess, who I’d love to meet one day.
Mine are: Chuck Palahniuk, Terry Pratchett, Kerry Greenwood and Will Elliot. They all write quite differently, and they’re all incredible, in my opinion :)
November 4th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Well, if it weren’t so wrong of me to say Lolita, I would say Lolita, but it would be very wrong, so I won’t.
Ce’Nedra in David Eddings’ Belgariad held my teenage sensibilities captive for a long time, I’m pleased to say I’m over my dryad phase now, though. Which is a good job seeing as they’re quite hard to come across.
And Estella from Great Expectations haunted me for a while, too, the fickle little vixen. She is, unfortunately, the most realistic of them all….
November 4th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Colin — I can definitely see the attraction in Aphra Behn! And I tried to stay away from living poets (ones who may read this, that is) too… probably wise!
Swiss — I don’t know if it’s actually in my all-time top five, I was just quoting the endlessly repeated motif from the book! The film’s in my all-time top five films… but the book might only sneak into the top ten! (as for the others… that’s probably for another post. I might write it soon!)
Jane Eyre… very practical, probably a sensible choice. (Of all the Bronte heroines, I like Cathy best - but I can’t imagine that having a crush on her would be a good idea!) And I absolutely agree about Anne Sexton…
As for Eowyn - I reckon many characters (hers included) were wrecked by That Movie. I can’t decide if I’m a fan or not… generally not, but then I watch it again and can’t help but pay attention.
Annie — Gaiman fangirls repreZent! And you’re quite right… if I were to do a film list it would be a whole lot longer!
Will — I know, I know. I think he might be a bit on the gay side, too, in which case my crush is totally in vain. *sigh*
I totally get your crush on Kim Addonizio! She’s a bit like Sharon Olds in terms of frank sexual talk (I almost put Sharon Olds down here but then thought no, wanting to actually be someone is different to having a crush on them!)
I was generally pretty disappointed by the movie to be honest. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with Orlando Bloom’s acting skillZ, and he looked absolutely perfect… but the character was stripped of all nuances and he just got turned into a practically non-speaking action boy hero. The bit where he skateboards down the flight of stairs on the back of a shield?! Bitch, please.
Simon — A bit wrong; but I can’t say that Humbert Humbert didn’t cross my mind, so…
November 4th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I have an absolute and undying adoration for Clovis Sangrail from the short stories of Saki.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
The author Katie Price would be ideal for a tawdry affair one could then write about and sell to the News of the Screws, in order to gain some exposure for my serious poetry career, or maybe the authors Kate Moss, Niaomi Campell and Jodi Marsh for a cocaine fuelled commune with the higher Dionystic force, perhaps offering these three writers advice on some transgressive poetry in the vein of Bukowski or Jack and Al on the road outside my bedsit after a night down the park with some cans of 7% Druid cider on a warm summer’s evening spent discussing the finer points of choral hexamters and the influence of Pindar in the development of fashion, then into the flats to score some scag and photies on the mobile sold to Hello magazine with a tasteful ten page spread on how i was viciously abused by these super models who cheapened my soul for something as base and common as cash. Yes, yes, or failing that, Enid Blyton dressed in dominatrix gear grinding her ten inch heels into the face of Carol Rumens as i attempt to stop these two from embaressing themselves just after i catch them as i finsih worshiping at my local mosque, counselling Sir Salman on his ex who i have been helping with her career in choral odes..then again, maybe just me and Mandy Motion in a tender first embrace, mopping away his tears and helping him find the real manly love for men within, directing a home flick of he and Tobias Hill at it like puppies with Ian MacMillan, coming out in Tooting bogs, cottaging with Don Patterson for background research into a joint anthology. Gay Poets Happy Bum Chums Loving for herr jammers renting in Russell Sqaure..
November 4th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Ezra Pound - no doubt about it. Yes, I love him and I hate him. But as I once wrote in a blog post of my own, “I find him to be most intriguing, as you would find a poet, dark romantic soul, treat-you-like-dirt, but charming bad boy to be.”
I think it’s the treat-you-like-dirt, charming bad boy that gets me ;)
November 14th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Alex from A Clockwork Orange. Hands down.
November 14th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Jean-Claude from Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series.
I too have an author crush on Neil Gaiman, it’s ridiculous, but true.
OH! I also have a literary crush on Henry Rollins. He is amusing, but his books really speak to me. This could have something to do with the fact that a lot of what he writes sounds like my husband.
November 14th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Hmm, I fall in love with just about any male character in any book by Francesca Lia Block. Most of the girl characters too, come to think of it!
November 14th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Jondalar, from the Earth’s Children saga, by JM Auel. Tall, blond, handsome but intelligent, troubled, tormented…one of the most interesting and sexier characters ever :D. Plus the couple he makes with the protagonist (Ayla) is great.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
honestly, draco malfoy, who i would never be into in real life. there’s something about his rich, blond, snarky ways, and the way everything he says is described as a “drawl”.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
What a great question!
For me, it is Augustus McCrae from the book Lonesome Dove. It’s the first book I can remember putting down for a time because it hurt to much to finish it.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I’ll go ahead and admit I have a giant crush on Sirius Black from Harry Potter (the books not Gary Oldman), Humbert Humbert even though he’s a dirty old man, and Jean-Baptiste Grenouille from Perfume.
And yes, I would get on Oscar Wilde in a heartbeat. He’d be a bad, bad boy if he was alive and into the laydeez.
Mmm, and if I were into the ladies myself, I would say Margarita from Master and Margarita, and Tita from Like Water for Chocolate.
November 14th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Diana -
Yes! Yes! Yes! Me too!
I thought I was the only one. I think it’s the whole bad boy thing that makes him so attractive.
I also have a massive crush on Edward Cullen, from the Twilight series.
I love that he’s from another time entirely. He doesn’t have any of the downfalls most boys (and men) have these days. He’s polite, quiet, mature, well read, very attractive, charming, nice, romantic; everything you would expect from someone born in the 1900’s. Oh dear, i’m drooling. :)
November 15th, 2008 at 12:16 am
I popped on over from Gala Darling’s site and just HAD to comment on this entry.
Duncan, Duncan, Duncan… I can’t believe another person in this world also has a crush on Duncan from The Edible Woman. After I finished the book, I realized that I had been rereading all the bits with him in it and thought of myself as such a freak.
Am also a fan of the boy who decidedly did not get the girl in Eloise Jarvis McGraw’s Greensleeves (a huge shame it’s out-of-print)- forgot his name, but he was surly and sexy and abrupt.
Also, Finn from Angela Carter’s Magic Toyshop. My first literary crush- Sheftu from Mara, Daughter of the Nile (also by Eloise Jarvis McGraw). D’Urbec from The Oracle Glass by Judith Merkle Riley. Ivan, Grushenka and Katya from The Brothers Karamazov; lords, what a sexy book.
November 15th, 2008 at 1:02 am
Ahhh, so many!
Definitely Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre (it doesn’t help that Toby Stevens played him in that 2006 miniseries…hotness!)
I used to like Edward from Twilight, but the second time I read through the books he seemed too overprotective…and stalkerish. Jacob’s more easygoing and has that whole bad boy/underdog thing going for him :D
Kartik, from the Gemma Doyle trilogy, is the sexiest thing ever, and my friends agree with me!
I also had a crush on Mo and Dustfinger (from Inkheart) a few years ago, and as for Harry Potter, I had a crush on Lupin but didn’t know it at the time…
November 15th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Bernard Marx from Brave New World is beautiful, asexual love.
November 15th, 2008 at 2:57 am
Severus Snape
November 15th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Lewis Dodd from “The Constant Nymph,” Holden Caulfield and Mr. Darcy.
November 15th, 2008 at 5:57 am
My heart has always palpitated a little for F. Scott Fitzgerald. I imagine a courtship with him to be both feverish and despairing. In the end, he is just so romantic.
November 15th, 2008 at 6:44 am
oh, colin laney from william gibson’s idoru/all tomorrow’s parties. he breaks my heart with his crazy brained, box living all the time. siiigh.
November 15th, 2008 at 10:35 am
The more I think about it, the more there are… but for a start, I am totally in love with Morpheus/Dream from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series, and I had a bit of a crush on Buddy/Imp from Terry Pratchett’s ‘Soul Music’. Phyrne Fisher, from Kerry Greenwood’s series, is my hero. Authorwise, I could melt for James Elroy Flecker - his poetry brings tears to my eyes
November 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I found this site through Galadarling, and felt an immense need to comment. Unfortunately, my biggest literary crush is an otter from the Redwall series, the Taggerung. I’m not sure if animals were included in this, but since he was anthropomorphic, I figured it was all right. :D
November 15th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Dorothy– that’s spooky! It’s not her most popular book and he’s a pretty obscure character, right? Hehe, I just can’t resist a weirdo, though!
Kate — Aaah ‘Soul Music’ is probably the book I have read more times than any other (somewhat un-intellectual admission…) and yes! I know exactly what you mean about Buddy!!
Liss — Well, you’re the first furry who’s owned up in the comments box, so hats off to you!
November 15th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I had a mad crush on Stephen from “I capture the castle” - still have probably, it’s been a while since I’ve read it..
Also, Howl from Howl’s moving castle. Absolute love.
November 15th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
I have a crush on Draco Malfoy. But more on the fanfiction version of him. Dont know, he is just gorgeous!! I love how he is so wittily snarky. He is SEXY!
And also on Edward Cullen! What a dream guy he is!! I so wish there was someone like him for me in real life! Human guys look so substandard compared to him!! He is a real gentleman, romantic, sophisticated, the opposite of selfish…I could go on for hours describing his wonderful character traits.
November 16th, 2008 at 4:51 am
Howl! Yes! There is amazing solace in discovering that one is not alone in their strange fictional crushes of children’s books….
Lord Vetinari from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series……(I’m squirming just typing this)
And my author of choice would have to be J.D Salinger…..Perpetual hearts for that man….
November 16th, 2008 at 5:28 am
I adore Thomas Herrick from the Bolitho series. And Bolitho himself come to think of it. I’d be that lone woman in a flowing dress, looking out over the shore, waiting for him to come back…
November 16th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Hmm…this is a difficult one.
Maybe Captain Frederick Wentworth from Persuasion. No matter how Mr Darcy is, he still cannot usurp dear Wentworth’s position in my heart.
As for real people - W.B. Yeats. I know, I know, he was an old man most of the time while he was famous. But his poetry can move me to tears - I told my boyfriend I would swoon if he recited ‘He Wishes For The Cloths of Heaven’ to me…so he did!
November 16th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I will second Jondalar from Earths Children and F. Scott Fitzgerald :)
Also I’d have to say The Vampire Lestat from Anne Rice’s vampire chronicals I’d also say Tyler Durden from Fight Club (although Brad Pitt’s movie casting may have had something to do with that) and Algernon from The Importance of being Earnest too! :D
I pretty much fall in love with all of the characters though, and all too often, the baddies! :D
November 16th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
I would say Marcel Proust. But since he was a homosexual, it’s sort of awkward.
Vladimir Nabokov? Or maybe James Joyce.
November 16th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Ohhars is that metal clay?
November 17th, 2008 at 4:13 am
I am in love with Ayn Rand’s characters Hank Reardon and Roark. I also love the narrator from Notes from Underground. It’s complicated . . .
November 17th, 2008 at 4:50 am
My latest literary crush must, by all rights, be Edward Cullen from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight!
November 17th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I loved sirius black and professor lupin too.
Edward Cullen.
November 17th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Embarrassing admission time:
My first crush was a literary crush. I was eight - and who was the object of my misguided passion? Why, a hideously ugly middle-aged sociopath, of course. Erik, the Phantom of the Opera. *facepalm*
November 18th, 2008 at 3:08 am
Give me Jehan Frollo from Notre Dame de Paris anyday (until he gets his brains splattered down the side of Notre Dame). Come to think of it, I tend to go for the dead guys. I have never gotten over my crush on Jean Prouvaire of Les Miserables, though a bullet to the brain ended that relationship.
I have never gone for anybody like Erik of Phantom or Edward Cullen (I’ve never read those books), but I would willingly give my hand in marriage to Raoul, Fred Weasley (again, quite deceased), or Peter Pevensie (even before the movie). I’m a bit of a book addict.
November 18th, 2008 at 4:03 am
aurther dent.
November 18th, 2008 at 4:04 am
also henry detamble.
November 25th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Atticus Finch, Ford Prefect, and Zaphod Beeblebrox.
November 26th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Arthur Dimmesdale of the Scarlett Letter novel always made me melt. It also made me realize just hwo much I prefer the sweet, but timid doe-eyed men rather than the bad boy. ;)
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February 9th, 2010 at 5:44 am
QJ: “Even K-1 is sounding good to me”