Posts Tagged ‘edinburgh international book festival’

All The Hidden Truths Tour! + forthcoming events

Wednesday, July 11th, 2018

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Hey friends! This is a list of THINGS I will be doing this summer / autumn… things that involve words I have written and opportunities for you to listen to them. It’s mostly to do with the launch of All The Hidden Truths (pre-order and I might just love you forever), but I’ve also thrown in some poetry events, too!
This list will be updated as more events are added, so watch this space!

Thursday 12th July: The Riff Raff
Effra Social, London
Full details and tickets here.

Friday 3rd August: Belladrum Festival
Belladum Estate, nr Inverness
Full details and tickets here.

Tuesday 14th August & Wednesday 15th August
Listen Softly Edinburgh

Scottish Poetry Library, Edinburgh
This is the Edinburgh Fringe Festival special outing for the night usually known as Listen Softly London. Join Dominic Stevenson and I as we introduce an amazing line up of features, new voices, and an open mic! Starts both nights at 6.45pm and is FREE to attend. Come along on the night or keep an eye on the SPL website to book yourself a ticket!

Thursday 16th August: That’s What She Said at The Fringe
Scottish Poetry Library, Edinburgh
Full details and tickets here.

Friday 17th August: Poetry’s New Guard
(in conversation with Zaffar Kunial)
Edinburgh International Book Festival
Full details and tickets here.

Saturday 18th August: All The Hidden Truths Edinburgh launch!
(with Golden Hare Books!)
Customs House, Edinburgh
Full details and tickets here.

Sunday 19th August: Crime Debuts To Die For
(in conversation with Alan Parks)
Edinburgh International Book Festival
Full details and tickets here.

Thursday 23rd August: All The Hidden Truths Glasgow launch!
Waterstones Argyle St, Glasgow
Full details and tickets here.

Thursday 30th August: All The Hidden Truths goes to the Borders
Main Street Books, St Boswells
Full details and tickets here.

Thursday 6th September: That’s What She Said
Tribeca, Manchester
Full details and tickets here.

Saturday 15th September: Killer Debuts
Noirwich Crime Writing Festival
Full details and tickets here.

Tuesday 18th September: All The Hidden Truths goes to Linlithgow
Far From The Madding Crowd Books
Details here. Free entry!

Wednesday 19th September: All The Hidden Truths goes to Carlisle
Cakes & Ale (Bookcase Bookshop)
Full details and tickets here.

Saturday 22nd September: All The Hidden Truths
Wigtown Book Festival
Full details and tickets here.

Saturday 22nd September: Ready, Set, Write!
Wigtown Book Festival
Full details here: free for under 26s!

Sunday 23rd September: Crime in the Spotlight
Bloody Scotland
Full details and tickets here.

Lots more to come, so keep an eye out!

Meanwhile, you can pre-order All The Hidden Truths on Amazon, Hive, Book Depository, Audible, or by visiting your local bookshop and asking them to order a copy in for you (this would be the best option, by the way!). You can also leave a review on Amazon, NetGalley or GoodReads in order to earn my eternal gratitude. Happy reading!

Where is Claire? AUGUST MADNESS edition

Sunday, July 30th, 2017

The Flint & Pitch Revue #6
Photo by Chris Scott

August is almost upon us, and every Edinburgh resident knows what that means. MADNESS IS ABOUT TO DESCEND. But also gigs. Lots of them.

Listen Softly Edinburgh
Friday 11th August, 6pm – 8pm
Forest Cafe (Tollcross Junction)

Okay, I am really glad this one is the first event I get to put under your eyeballs, because I REALLY want it to go well! I AM MAKING ANOTHER FORAY INTO POETRY PROMOTING, friends, after a long hiatus (I must have forgotten how stressful it is again), and this is the first dipping-of-my-toes-into-the-water. I’m teaming up with the inimitable Dom Stevenson of Listen Softly London, to deliver a one-off LSL-style Edinburgh event for the Fringe. However, if all goes well I’m hoping to turn LSE into a semi-regular thing. So call this a pilot phase, if you will…
There’ll be poems from the brilliant Theresa Munoz, Colin McGuire and Laura Rae — one other feature TBC! You might get the odd poem out of Dom and I, too. AND, there are five open mic slots up for grabs, which YOU could read in if you email claire@onenightstanzas.com and ask me to put your name in the hat!
The Facebook event is here — please come along, bring friends, help me fill the Forest and convince me that becoming a promoter again is in fact a good idea…

She Grrrowls
Monday 14th August, 7.20pm
Black Market (venue 399)

“London’s favourite feminist arts night”, says the Facebook event, “bringing you a night of the best women in spoken word, mixed in with some music and comedy. There are new features every night and you can give us your best growl with the all-inclusive open mic!” I’ll be one of three feature readers at this — the others are Katie Pritchard and Beth Hunt. I’m also hoping to be sharing the stage with some pals as part of the open mic! Come along!

Political Poetry with Andy Jackson and WN Herbert
Tuesday 15th August, 12.30pm
Edinburgh International Book Festival, Bosco Theatre (George Street)

Andy and Bill are the brains behind some of the best anthologies of Scottish literature to happen lately: most recently, they edited New Boots and Pantisocracies, which started out as a daily blog and then became a fantastic book. I’m honoured to have been picked from among the contributors to read my contribution at the Edinburgh International Book Festival. This one’s ticketed but well worth the ticket price! And perfect for your midweek lunchtime…

Edinburgh, City of Poetry with Russell Jones and Claire Askew
Thursday 17th August, 12.30pm
Edinburgh International Book Festival, Bosco Theatre (George Street)

So, yaknow I helped the lovely Russell Jones to edit that wee book of Edinburgh poems and stories, Umbrellas of Edinburgh, recently? Well we’ve only gone and bagged ourselves a Book Festival event! Come along and hear Russell and I introduce work by the geniuses that are Harry Giles, Jane Yolen, Finola Scott and Marjorie Lotfi Gill. There’ll also be poems by Russell and I that have been specially commissioned for the event! This one’s also ticketed but you get six — SIX — writers for the price of one event!

Reshuffling The Pack with MacGillivray and Courtney Sina Meredith
Sunday 20th August, 5pm
Edinburgh International Book Festival, Writers’ Retreat (Charlotte Square)

I’m chairing this one, but I’m counting it as a gig because I am super excited and also SUPER NERVOUS about doing it! These two poets are very different, but both of them make mind-blowing work that is complex, experimental, political and brilliant. This one is well worth every one of the shiny pounds of its ticket price… come and ask smart questions in the Q&A, and I shall field them!

She Grrrowls
Monday 21st August, 7.20pm
Black Market (venue 399)

My second go at this fine feminist night… again, I will be one of three features! The other two are Katie Pritchard and Kathryn O’Driscoll. There’s also that open mic, if you fancy coming and sharing a stage with yours truly!

That’s What She Said
Tuesday 22nd August, 5.45pm
Bar Bados, Cowgate (venue 281)

I am really excited to be reading as a feature at this bloody amazing women’s spoken word night, run by none other than fellow #GrrrlCon organiser and all-round magical goddess Jane Bradley! I get to appear alongside Rosie Freakin’ Garland!!! And also my lovely lovely pal Sasha de Buyl — trust me, you do NOT want to miss a very rare appearance by Sasha! That’s What She Said is doing a whole run, and every single night looks absolutely golden. It’s at a great time of day as well… come along before you head to your evening shows!

Coffee and a Poem with Paul Muldoon
Thursday 24th August, 10am
Golden Hare Books, Stockbridge

YES, I AM CHAIRING AN EVENT WITH PAUL MULDOON. YES, THAT PAUL MULDOON. Obviously come along to this one because it’s PAUL FREAKING MULDOON. But also, come along and make supportive faces at me so I can at least attempt to form sentences in the presence of this man? The event is, after all, free — and you get coffee!

Please come along to these events, friends! But mainly come to this one. Seriously.

In 2014, I…

Monday, December 29th, 2014

Happy New Year!
(Photo credit)

I feel like 2014 has been my year. Things have been really amazing this year — other people have even said to me “you’re having a great year, aren’t you?” I’m super, super grateful for all the amazing opportunities that have come my way, and for all the support from lovely people like YOU!

Here’s what I’ve been up to! In 2014, I…

* Saw in the new year with my dear family in Wetheral, one of the most chocolate-box-y English villages you can imagine. This was after spending my first ever Christmas in the house that Lovely Boyfriend and I bought together last year! It was a wonderful festive time.

* Signed myself up to read/speak in a bunch of places in the springtime. I particularly enjoyed giving a talk on intersectionality in the Scottish arts at New Scotland: New Culture?

* Learned to knit (well, re-learned — my gran taught me, years ago, but I forgot). This is something I have wanted to do for years and I’m now thoroughly addicted.

* Did my first ever official school author visit — to chat to some second years and then some Advanced Higher English students — at Hillhead High School in Glasgow. I was terrified beforehand, I’ll admit — but it was great! I loved every minute and have been invited to do others since! (You too can book me to speak to your class of students, community group, book group, writing workshop, or whatever you fancy… just click here!)

* Had an amazing Valentine’s Day dinner cooked for me by my personal chef Lovely Boyfriend: Thai beetroot and coconut soup, Jerusalem artichoke risotto, and then peanut butter cheesecake with a chocolate brownie base. All vegan!

* Entered my 28th year and celebrated by eating a chocolate breakfast at The Chocolate Tree, drinking tasty cocktails at the Dome, and finding out that New Writing Scotland wanted to publish one of my poems. A good day!

* Started a 30 before 30 to do list… and started to cross things off it immediately!

* Put the finishing touches to my first full-length poetry collection — about eight years in the making — and started sending it out to publishers! Oo-er.

* Took AGES to complete the very few corrections that needed to be done on my PhD… but submitted it, eventually!

* Finished up the year of creative mentoring that came alongside my 2011/12 New Writers Award — and wrote about how great it was here.

* Helped deliver the graphic novel John Muir: Earth-Planet, Universe into the world, as part of my role as Young Adult Project Co-Ordinator at Scottish Book Trust. The graphic novel is designed for 13 to 15 year olds, and is designed to teach young ‘uns about the importance of environmental responsibility while also telling the story of legendary Scot John Muir. Although this book wasn’t my main focus at work this year, I was proud to be part of the team that delivered it… it really is wonderful!

* Helped my dad to build a book nook in my bedroom! This was mega — I had wanted a book nook ever since I saw this one on Tumblr, and then when we realised that the main bedroom in our new house had a fairly useless cupboard in the corner, it was just FATE. Shockingly, I have yet to take a really decent photo of the finished nook, but that can be one of my ‘to do’ points for 2015. Watch this space…

* Was booked to speak at the University of Edinburgh’s conference style event The Business, alongside amazing writerly folks like Francis Bickmore and Jenny Brown!

* Was booked to deliver the first of what turned into a series of author events/workshops with the Edinburgh branch of Bethany Christian Trust, which works to support people who are homeless or vulnerably housed. I wrote a bit about that first author event here!

* Geeked out with my mum — who is as mad on antiques and collectables as I am — at the Antiques Roadshow when it came to Lowther Castle! (I know you’re rolling your eyes right now but it’s a great day out for those of us with a Delboy streak!)

* Was invited to become a Creative Facilitator on the Inside/Out project, run by Waverley Care. Over the course of the last few months, I have been meeting with Waverley Care service users who are affected by HIV and/or Hep C, to help them write about the ways in which living with a blood-borne virus affects them. It’s been inspiring, and very humbling.

* GRADUATED FROM MY PHD!!!! After nearly four years of working full time + studying full time + being entirely un/self-funded, I DID IT!

* Heard back from Bloodaxe, the first and only publisher I sent my first collection MS to, that they loved the collection and wanted to publish it! HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR RIGHT HERE! The collection is titled This changes things and will land in bookstores in February 2016.

* Was shortlisted for the inaugural Edwin Morgan Poetry Award, alongside my lovely pal Harry Giles and a bunch of other fine folks! This meant I got to read at the Edinburgh International Book Festival once again (always awesome) — which included access to the Author’s Yurt! On the night, I came runner-up to Niall Campbell, who I’d predicted would win as soon as I saw the shortlist (why did I not put a bet on?!). I was gobsmacked by the amazing comments from the judges and by the warm and lovely response from everyone I know! Thanks, you guys!

* Went on a massive Scotland-wide road-trip with the amazing Lovely Boyfriend at the wheel. I’ve lived in Scotland for 20 years this year, and until the summertime had never been to about 80% of it. We drove all the way up the east coast to the very northern tip of Caithness, then all along the northern coast, then down the west coast, even visiting Gairloch! It. was. amazing.

* Then jetted off to stunning Barcelona for some autumnal sun with Lovely Boyfriend and my BFF Martyna. A truly amazing time was had by all — and we were staying in hands-down the best airbnb ever!

* Had my feet tattooed with the words “What’s Next?” — both a positive, forward-thinking mantra of mine and the immortal words of President Jed Bartlet, protagonist of the TV show I love madly!

* Was booked to read/speak at a bunch of lovely events in the autumn.

* Began to make a name for myself as a handy freelance writer-for-hire and/or adult literacy worker-for-hire — throughout the year I’ve been booked to bring my writerly expertise to various community groups, book groups and education settings across Scotland. And I’ve loved it! Bring on 2015!

* Spent a spooky Halloween visiting various esoteric sites to look for ghosts and witches… then attending not one but two Halloween parties! For the first one, I dressed as the classic Halloween witch — for the second, which was book themed, I donned some fangs and went as Lucy Westenra.

* Celebrated my fourth year as the other half of Lovely Boyfriend (his real name is Steve, by the way) — personal chef, champion cuddler and all-round cute Scottish bloke. We spent a romantic weekend in York, reading books, writing poems and eating all the delicious vegan food we could find, before heading down to London to hole up in Foyles and then see my fangirl fave Richard Schiff in the London Playhouse’s infamous Speed-The-Plow.

* Pitched myself to the brilliant For Books’ Sake as a possible Scottish tutor for their great new all-female writing course Write Like A Grrrl… and was accepted! My Edinburgh class starts on 24th January and you can sign up right here!

* Continued to build my wee vintage jewellery business, Edinburgh Vintage, with — and I am telling you this because I am super proud of myself — revenue nearly quadrupling in the last twelve months! EV is basically my second job now, and I love it. I have exciting new places to take it in 2015, too!

* Delivered my first full project since joining Scottish Book Trust in October last year. Walk The Walk is a graphic novel designed specifically for adults who struggle with literacy, and is developed using an innovative participatory methodology. I’ve spent the year travelling all over Scotland to meet young people and adults who attend literacy support groups, to chat to them about their experiences and to get their input at every stage of the book’s development. I’ve also got to see the process that goes into producing a specialist book, from the very first kernel of an idea, to the final product being sent out to literacy groups nationwide. I am really, really proud of this thing and want to give a massive, grateful shoutout to the powerhouse all-female creative team I got to work with on it all year: my boss, Koren (aka the best boss ever), genius writer Gowan Calder, and utterly magical artist Jill Calder. Thank you ladies!

* Kept in touch with another powerhouse all-female creative team… the one behind 2012’s Making It Home Project, on which I worked as a Creative Facilitator. We’ve spent the year plotting various ways to take what we learned with MiH and take it forward into a brand new project. I’m hoping that in the new year, we’ll be able to announce what we’ve settled on. Spoiler: it’s going to be really, really exciting. Oh, and this time I’ll be Project Co-Manager! Be afraid!

* Visited a bunch of really great bookstores and vegan restaurants… click on the links for my Top 10 of each!

* Had poems published in loads of places — thank you, kind editors! You can see a full list, and read some of the poems, here.

The year in pictures:

Spring '14
^ Corrections done! Final draft submitted! Beast slayed!

The Bugle
^ Working on The Bugle with service users at Bethany Christian Trust.

A Trip to Wetheral (13)
^ Springtime!

The Business writing event at Pleasance Cabaret Bar (1)
^ Speaking at The Business with Jenni Fagan, Francis Bickmore, Jenny Brown and other clever folk!

Edventures2 (1)
^ Oh, Edinburgh.

Tackling Sectarianism (2)
^ Travelling around Scotland to consult with literacy learners for Walk The Walk. This is the Redburn Youth Centre in Irvine, North Ayrshire.

My PhD Graduation! (3)
^ Graduation! You may now call me Dr Askew!

Sinclair Girnigoe 2014 (15)
^ Road-tripping literally the length and breadth of Scotland with my wonderful bloke. Best summer ever!

Edwin Morgan Poetry Award
^ Reading at the Edinburgh International Book Festival — and then winning a prize! — at the Edwin Morgan Poetry Award 2014…

OMG!
^ …then getting permission to go public with this even better news!

Secret Herb Garden, Edinburgh
^ My bff Martyna moved back to Edinburgh after five years away!

Autumn in Edinburgh (11)
^ I made my feet more awesome.

Barcelona Autumn 2014 (27)
^ Yet more adventures… this time in gorgeous Barcelona.

Edinburgh, end of autumn
^ Loving my wee house. Spot the Kringle Candles dotted around everywhere… this year, I became a Kringle addict.

York Nov 14 (18)
^ Aaand more adventures: first in stunning York…

London weekend, Nov 14
^ …then London!

Waverley Care Walking Group's Inside/Out Project
^ A Christmas outing with some of the lovely service users at Waverley Care: making concrete poems from natural materials as part of the Inside/Out project.

Christmas Eve 2014
^ And a cozy family Christmas to finish :)

I hope that 2015 brings you everything you could possibly wish for, and that all your resolutions are easy to keep! I say: 2015? Bring it on!

If you want to see what I got up to in 2008, 2009, 2010 2011, 2012, or 2013, just click on each year!

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Like shiny things? Check out Edinburgh Vintage, a totally unrelated ‘sister site’ full of jewels, treasures and trinkets. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

Check the ill Q&A behaviour

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

366 - 350: You can't shut me up

I’ve been to a whole load of readings and other author events this Festival – avoiding as I am every aspect of the white, male, thirty-something, rape-joke-cracking comedy side of things. And although I’ve had a creeping sense of this for a while, this Festival season it has really struck me just how badly people behave in post-reading Q&A sessions.
It’s got to the point where, on the rare occasions that the event’s chair announces that there will not be a Q&A session afterwards, I feel a palpable surge of relief. You’d think that good behaviour – particularly at a set-up as supposedly erudite as the Edinburgh International Book Festival – would be a no-brainer. But apparently not – it’s more likely to be a free-for-all of terribleness. Therefore, let me share with you my no-shit-Sherlock rules for good Q&A behaviour, wherein I will also share some of the horrors I have been [un]fortunate enough to witness.

1. It’s a Q&A… so ask a damn question
The clue to this one’s in the name, folks – question and answer. Seems straightforward, right? And yet, the most commonplace Q&A sin is most definitely Question Fail. The non-question usually comes from someone whose hand shoots up in a Donkey-from-Shrek gesture. And you can tell as soon as they start that there is no question at the end of their faltering verbal rainbow. They start with “I’d just like to say…”, or “Isn’t it interesting how…”, or sometimes “You’ve just got me thinking about…” And after a while it becomes apparent that they don’t actually want to ask anything. The speaker nods politely along, perhaps trying to engineer a possible response in spite of the fact that the non-questioner doesn’t really want one. The non-questioner just wants the microphone. And yaknow, we’ve all paid ten quid for the privilege of hearing from the speaker. Please ask them something so they can say interesting things to us!

2. It’s not all about you.
A greater awareness that there are other people in the audience would serve a lot of questioners well in general. I’m speaking now of those people – some of whom have real questions and some of whom don’t – who see the Q&A session as an opportunity for them to have a private one-to-one conversation with the speaker. They ask a (non-)question, the speaker responds, and then instead of surrendering the slippery, sweaty roving mic to the next eager hand-waver, they respond back – sometimes numerous times and often at length. Admittedly, there are some event chairs who won’t allow this sort of behaviour and who will attempt to head these me-me-me types off at the pass. But this is Blighty after all, and many chairs and speakers will simply nod politely as the precious seconds of the often-too-brief Q&A tick by. Again: dude, I have spent a whole piece of paper money to come to this event. I did not spend that money so I could hear you chat about how much you liked the voice-acting in Brave (this really happened) with a speaker whose topic had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Pixar’s totally-not-a-princess-movie. Please be quiet now. (Although yes, Brave is great. Just not now.)

3. ’splaining is never acceptable…
…especially when you are talking to someone who is an expert in their field. Seriously: I can never understand folks who’ll wait until the speaker has finished unpacking years of research on a subject obviously close to their hearts before reaching for the mic and saying “actually, x is totally untrue! I read an article about it in the Telegraph!” Some cases in point: Marina Warner is one of the world’s greatest and most knowledgeable scholars of myth and folklore. She’s been publishing on the subject since the mid seventies. What this woman doesn’t know about folklore doesn’t exist. And yet, at the end of Warner’s brilliant lecture at the Book Festival, a woman raised her hand to say, “I don’t know if you realise this, Marina, but Scotland has a very vibrant culture of folklore and storytelling!” Dude. It’s Marina freaking Warner. I guarantee you she knows.
I witnessed another example of ’splaining at Alice Oswald’s truly incredible Book Festival reading. There was no Q&A session, but punters were encouraged to bring questions to Oswald during the signing. The signing queue was huge, it was 10pm and poor old Alice had just read non-stop from memory for an hour and twenty minutes. Needless to say, she was obviously exhausted. And yet, a bloke in the signing queue in front of me had no qualms about stepping up to the table to tell her all about the good old days of his own Homeric studies as an undergrad at Oxford, and by the way, did she know x and y about Homer? The woman is an expert, man! She knows.
Finally – and I really thought that in terms of ’splaining, by now I’d seen it all – at Andrew Keen’s Book Festival event, a truly ’splain-tastic gentleman spoke up at the back. Keen had just finished discussing the possible dangers of social networking for young people, a subject that his two nonfiction works have examined at length. After slagging both books horribly (and I’ll return to this in a moment), the gentleman pointed out that, “according to studies” (BECAUSE OF REASONS!), young people are highly responsible users of social media and only ever ‘friend’ people they definitely know IRL. He actually said, his white beard shuddering with indignation, “I know how young people behave, and you’ve got them completely wrong.” As a young person myself (who has nearly 2,000 Twitter followers and not a clue who most of them are), and a FE lecturer who teaches over 150 young ’uns a year (all of whom talk about “some random on my Facebook,” etc), I must say to you, sir: you are embarrassing yourself.
Everyone else: please do not be this person.

4. Do not slag the book.
I’ve witnessed this more times than I care to mention, yet I still do not understand the logic. Before the white-bearded ’splainer above began telling everyone in Edinburgh all about How Young People Behave, he first launched a massive tirade against the speaker, his books, and everything he stood for. He began with, and I quote, “I read your first book and frankly I thought it was a shoddy piece of work” (cue a lot of booing and hissing-through-teeth from the audience), before adding, “and I totally disagree with everything you say in this new book!” Happily, Andrew Keen is a long-time Silicone Valley insider, and about as hard-boiled a speaker as you get at the Book Fest, so without batting an eyelid he responded, “so you’ve read the new book, then?” When Beardy McSplain had to admit that he had not, Keen continued, “well, you’re not putting yourself in a desperately credible position, then, are you?”
However, I have seen authors panic in the face of their book being wantonly slagged in the Q&A. In an event at the Book Fest last year, the author – who I won’t name – faced a screeching elderly woman in the front row telling her that In My Day Women Like You Would Have Been Called Lazy Sluts, or words to that effect. The poor woman was just open-mouthed with shock, as were the audience.
The reason I don’t understand people who publicly attack the book (or the author) is not because I think the authors shouldn’t have to deal with it. Personally, I see hecklers as part of the public reading territory and almost relish the challenge they provide (I’ve never been called a lazy slut, though, I suppose). No, the reason I don’t understand it is this: if you hate this person and all that they write about/stand for so much, why the everloving hell have you spent ten whole pounds to come to their event? That’s two and a half pints, or a good novel, or four copies of the Big Issue! Folks – do everyone in the world a favour, stay home and give that money to a deserving charity.

5. Wait to be asked.
Just a piece of common courtesy, this. I was at an International Festival event the other day – a panel discussion featuring three academics and the chair. It became clear towards the end that the chair was trying to wrap things up for questions, but before she had even finished speaking, an extremely rude man in the front row threw out his arms towards the panel and boomed, “SO LET ME ASK YOU THIS, THEN…” Happily, the chair cut in and demanded that a) be quiet until she was done and b) he wait for the roving mic (although he really didn’t need it) – but even so, I was gobsmacked. I mean, I’ve asked questions in Q&As before – I do so quite regularly – but there is no way in hell I would ever take it upon myself to decide that I was sick of listening now and HEY LISTEN TO ME INSTEAD! Ladies and gents – be nice. Wait til you’re asked. This is the literary world, we’re civilised here! Aren’t we…?

Right – now I want to hear your horror stories. I know you’ve got them! Have you come across someone even worse than Beardy McSplain? Tell me in the comments box!

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

(Photo credit)