Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

In 2019, I…

Sunday, December 8th, 2019

Thank You
(Credit)

Hello there. Yes, it’s me. I’m still around these parts every so often, though I am shocked to see I haven’t posted in over a year.

I’m here to talk about gratitude.

Every year for eight years, I wrote a post entitled “In [year], I…”, and posted it here.
(Although I’ve archived 90% of ONS’s content — spanning 13 years! — you can still see those posts here: 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015.)
Each one was a chronicle of my year, of the things I’d achieved, and how I felt about them.

I didn’t do one of these posts in 2016: the year I published my first ever book and did loads of other things besides. Though the year started well (the book came out in January), by the end of it I was deep in the grip of depression and anxiety. Donald Trump had been elected, the British public had voted for Brexit, and I honestly thought the world was going to end. I didn’t know it then, but my relationship (of six years) wouldn’t last the first quarter of 2017 (my own fault). By March, I’d have run out of freelance work, and would find myself needing to move out of my ex’s house, along with all my worldly possessions. Though I wasn’t consciously aware this was coming, I remember sitting by myself in my living room, in the dark, on Christmas Eve, listening to the Carols from Kings carol service on the radio and crying bitterly. I did know I wasn’t in a good way. Writing a grateful, celebratory end-of-year post was just out of the question. I didn’t do it, and then because I’d broken the chain, I didn’t do a 2017 post or a 2018 post either.

You have no idea how much I regret that now. Imagine if I’d had an unbroken run of posts spanning eleven whole years?

I regret it for another reason, though.
I realise now that I fell totally out of the habit of being grateful.

(Those of you who’ve followed this blog for a long time will remember that I also used to do weekly gratitude posts on Thursdays, of which only one hasn’t been archived now — this was an error I think, but I’ll leave it there anyway.)

For half of 2017, all of 2018, and most of 2019, I was in therapy. I was surviving — and then I was recovering from — a long spell of mental ill health and emotional upheaval. At the same time, incredible things were happening in my professional life: 2017 was a truly life changing year. Selling All The Hidden Truths set in motion a chain of events that moved so fast I could barely see straight, let alone take stock. I knew what was happening to me professionally was amazing, but I struggled to process any of it — for almost two whole years — because I was busy trying to get things back on track emotionally. People kept saying things like, “you must be SO HAPPY!”, and I’d nod and bluster along. It was great, it was great, I knew it was great — but for a really long time I couldn’t feel the greatness, because I was too busy having to feel so many other things. Gratitude was in the mix, but it wasn’t important enough to be at the forefront, because jostling for position were other, bigger things like learning to trust my new partner, learning how to set new boundaries, or learning not to catastrophise everything to the point where I assumed the world was going to end.

And, as Oprah and Brene Brown and all these other smart and worthy folk are constantly telling us: gratitude is a practice, like going to the gym and working a muscle.
If you don’t use it, you lose it.

I have not done enough gratitude practice over these past two years. I’m well enough now to see that. All the other noise has died down, and I can see for the first time what a sorry state my gratitude is in. The muscle has withered, friends. And now that’s the problem, that’s what’s contributing to the new and ever-changing mental health stuff I’m grappling with.

(Just to add: there was another reason I wasn’t openly SUPER GRATEFUL for the massive blessings that came my way in 2017 and 2018. Underneath all the noise, I was also aware of a thin seam of worry about looking braggy. I didn’t want people to think who does she think she is, the Queen of Sheba? That insecurity was fed, of course, by the fact that my mental health was on the floor. I’m back up off that floor and now realise that anyone who looks at someone else talking about their achievements — especially if that someone is a woman — and thinks “she’s just up herself” IS A JERK. A jerk who needs to go away and look at their own life to figure out what’s making them feel that insecure and inadequate. There’s enough pie to go round, and seeing someone else getting a big juicy slice ought only to serve as an illustration of that. PIE ALL ROUND.)

So here goes. Here are all the amazing, unexpected, unusual, cool and downright great things that happened to me in 2019. I am so grateful for all of them.

In 2019, I…

* started the New Year as I meant to go on: with an amazing solo writing retreat in York, where I wrote the very first words of Cover Your Tracks, my third novel.

* took on a fantastic freelance contract with the Edinburgh International Book Festival — the final major Scottish literature organisation that I hadn’t yet worked for! — as their Schools Writer in Residence for the Citizen Project.

* proof-read and sent off the FINAL FINAL FINAL draft of What You Pay For, aka the ‘difficult second novel’

* went into the final semester of my two-year contract as Writer in Residence at the University of Edinburgh. As an eighteen year old undergrad, I used to attend workshops with then-WiR Brian McCabe, and think, “one day, I want to do this job.” It still blows my mind on the reg to know that I made that happen.

* I continued on with several of the freelance teaching gigs I love dearly: leading Write Like A Grrrl! courses and Golden Hare Writers workshops at the beautiful Golden Hare Books.

* helped my lovely partner Dom to bring his established spoken word night, Listen Softly, to Edinburgh from London. Over the course of this year we’ve attracted standing-room-only crowds and booked some truly incredible performers. We also produced a beautiful and hopeful anthology, Luminous, defiant! In February 2020 we’ll celebrate one year of listening softly in Edinburgh.

* bagged a week’s writing residency at the gorgeous Moniack Mhor — it was incredible to get to go back exactly two years after my month-long stint there as the winner of the 2017 Jessie Kesson Fellowship. I spent a whole week writing poems while it snowed outside, and it was blissful.

* launched the paperback edition of All The Hidden Truths. Full disclosure: April/May was HARD. Right before the paperback was due to drop (so, basically the worst possible moment) my entire publishing team just happened to find new jobs — literally, within two weeks of each other. It really was the weirdest fluke! My new editor wasn’t appointed for a further five months, and it was a scary, lonely and difficult time. I still wonder how it affected the book and how things might have been had it not happened. But the book came out, and I was grateful for all the support I received from readers. I’m especially grateful to Waterstones in Scotland, who made All The Hidden Truths their book club choice as part of the paperback release, and who booked me for events in Edinburgh, Perth, Dundee and Inverness, and even took me out for a lovely dinner with all their Glasgow booksellers! It made such a difference at a tricky time.

* finished work on my second poetry collection — thanks largely to that precious Moniack week — having had to put poetry aside for such a long time as fiction literally took over my life. I’m delighted to say that the collection was accepted for publication by Bloodaxe Books — it’s called Break & Closure, and it’ll be out in 2021.

* was a Hatchards Author of the Year (link to an incredible retro 90s Tatler article about this accolade)! And got to go to the extremely swank Authors of the Year reception where I fangirled over Anna Burns, who was wearing seriously cool shoes.

* helped run a frenetic and very fun day-long festival for ~80 teenagers at North Edinburgh Arts as part of the ongoing Citizen Project. Creating a giant collaborative poem on the floor of the main theatre was an experience I will NEVER forget.

* IAN RANKIN READ MY NOVEL AND TWEETED TO SAY IT WAS “METICULOUS AND COMPELLING” AND I MADE AN EXTREMELY HIGH-PITCHED NOISE IN PUBLIC

* I went on a bloody amazing For Books’ Sake writing retreat, led by the GREAT Jane Bradley, hit 50k words on Cover Your Tracks, and realised for the first time that I might just be able to write this god damn book. Maybe. Possibly.

* launched What You Pay For in the midst of EDINBURGH FRINGE MADNESS. People seemed to quite like it — indeed the Scotsman liked it so much that they made it one of their Books of 2019. Apple Books did too!

* SOMEHOW co-ordinated a two-day takeover of the Edinburgh International Book Festival Schools Programme by the Citizen teenagers, topped off by a spectacular showcase of all the work made by Citizen participants over the course of the project. I then stepped back from Citizen because MY LIFE IS, AS YOU SEE, VERY FULL OF THINGS, but I wrote a retrospective about my year right here. It was SO GOOD.

* appeared at Granite Noir, the Edinburgh International Book Festival (for the third consecutive year!), and Bloody Scotland (for the second!)…

* …and while at Bloody Scotland, I only went and won the inaugural McIlvanney Debut Crime Fiction Prize for All The Hidden Truths! Presented to me by Richard Osman!? And then I met DAVID BALDACCI?!? And walked at the front of the annual torchlight procession??!!! MY MIND IS STILL BLOWN. I am SO GRATEFUL.

* helped my lovely, supportive, long-suffering parents celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary!

* went on the holiday I’ve been dreaming about since I was ten years old and first saw the movie Hocus Pocus: Dom and I spent two weeks in Boston and Salem, Massachusetts, USA! I went in EVERY WITCHY STORE and took about five billion photos of incredible Halloween themed, pumpkin-bedecked houses — you can see the whole lot on my Instagram!

* met a brand new tiny human in the form of Dom’s cutie-butt of a nephew, baby Alfie!

* did my usual tour of Scotland’s libraries and community spaces for Book Week Scotland: six days, six events, five local authorities and 342 miles covered. Thank you so much to the organisers who booked me and the many readers who came to hear me speak in Stockbridge, Dunshalt, Granton, Bishopbriggs, Coatbridge and Kelso!

* brought ‘witch school’ back to Edinburgh with the help of Dr Alice Tarbuck, who is the Batman to my Robin. Toil & Trouble: towards a responsible witchcraft is perhaps the coolest teaching gig I’ve ever done? We’ve got day workshops coming in 2020, too!

* just recently signed up to become the new tutor of Write Here, a seven-week novel writing course based in Edinburgh. Come and join me in 2020 for taught seminars, workshopping and one-to-ones, plus a session with a real live literary agent!

* finished — days ago! — the copyedit on Cover Your Tracks. My third novel is finished! And it’ll be in the world in February 2021! I DID IT AGAIN, FOLKS! I don’t think I’ll ever not be amazed.

* was fortunate enough — most importantly — to spend another year surrounded by the best, most brilliant, most supportive, kindest friends and family members a girl could hope for. I feel so lucky to have so many incredible people in my life: grrrls, witches, wise women, writers, and just damn fine pals. I hope you all know who you are. To Dom and Nick especially: I love you guys so much.

Here’s to gratitude, here’s to doing ALL THE THINGS, here’s to taking time to notice and appreciate them, and HERE’S TO 2020!

Now you! What are YOU grateful for from 2019?

In 2014, I…

Monday, December 29th, 2014

Happy New Year!
(Photo credit)

I feel like 2014 has been my year. Things have been really amazing this year — other people have even said to me “you’re having a great year, aren’t you?” I’m super, super grateful for all the amazing opportunities that have come my way, and for all the support from lovely people like YOU!

Here’s what I’ve been up to! In 2014, I…

* Saw in the new year with my dear family in Wetheral, one of the most chocolate-box-y English villages you can imagine. This was after spending my first ever Christmas in the house that Lovely Boyfriend and I bought together last year! It was a wonderful festive time.

* Signed myself up to read/speak in a bunch of places in the springtime. I particularly enjoyed giving a talk on intersectionality in the Scottish arts at New Scotland: New Culture?

* Learned to knit (well, re-learned — my gran taught me, years ago, but I forgot). This is something I have wanted to do for years and I’m now thoroughly addicted.

* Did my first ever official school author visit — to chat to some second years and then some Advanced Higher English students — at Hillhead High School in Glasgow. I was terrified beforehand, I’ll admit — but it was great! I loved every minute and have been invited to do others since! (You too can book me to speak to your class of students, community group, book group, writing workshop, or whatever you fancy… just click here!)

* Had an amazing Valentine’s Day dinner cooked for me by my personal chef Lovely Boyfriend: Thai beetroot and coconut soup, Jerusalem artichoke risotto, and then peanut butter cheesecake with a chocolate brownie base. All vegan!

* Entered my 28th year and celebrated by eating a chocolate breakfast at The Chocolate Tree, drinking tasty cocktails at the Dome, and finding out that New Writing Scotland wanted to publish one of my poems. A good day!

* Started a 30 before 30 to do list… and started to cross things off it immediately!

* Put the finishing touches to my first full-length poetry collection — about eight years in the making — and started sending it out to publishers! Oo-er.

* Took AGES to complete the very few corrections that needed to be done on my PhD… but submitted it, eventually!

* Finished up the year of creative mentoring that came alongside my 2011/12 New Writers Award — and wrote about how great it was here.

* Helped deliver the graphic novel John Muir: Earth-Planet, Universe into the world, as part of my role as Young Adult Project Co-Ordinator at Scottish Book Trust. The graphic novel is designed for 13 to 15 year olds, and is designed to teach young ‘uns about the importance of environmental responsibility while also telling the story of legendary Scot John Muir. Although this book wasn’t my main focus at work this year, I was proud to be part of the team that delivered it… it really is wonderful!

* Helped my dad to build a book nook in my bedroom! This was mega — I had wanted a book nook ever since I saw this one on Tumblr, and then when we realised that the main bedroom in our new house had a fairly useless cupboard in the corner, it was just FATE. Shockingly, I have yet to take a really decent photo of the finished nook, but that can be one of my ‘to do’ points for 2015. Watch this space…

* Was booked to speak at the University of Edinburgh’s conference style event The Business, alongside amazing writerly folks like Francis Bickmore and Jenny Brown!

* Was booked to deliver the first of what turned into a series of author events/workshops with the Edinburgh branch of Bethany Christian Trust, which works to support people who are homeless or vulnerably housed. I wrote a bit about that first author event here!

* Geeked out with my mum — who is as mad on antiques and collectables as I am — at the Antiques Roadshow when it came to Lowther Castle! (I know you’re rolling your eyes right now but it’s a great day out for those of us with a Delboy streak!)

* Was invited to become a Creative Facilitator on the Inside/Out project, run by Waverley Care. Over the course of the last few months, I have been meeting with Waverley Care service users who are affected by HIV and/or Hep C, to help them write about the ways in which living with a blood-borne virus affects them. It’s been inspiring, and very humbling.

* GRADUATED FROM MY PHD!!!! After nearly four years of working full time + studying full time + being entirely un/self-funded, I DID IT!

* Heard back from Bloodaxe, the first and only publisher I sent my first collection MS to, that they loved the collection and wanted to publish it! HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR RIGHT HERE! The collection is titled This changes things and will land in bookstores in February 2016.

* Was shortlisted for the inaugural Edwin Morgan Poetry Award, alongside my lovely pal Harry Giles and a bunch of other fine folks! This meant I got to read at the Edinburgh International Book Festival once again (always awesome) — which included access to the Author’s Yurt! On the night, I came runner-up to Niall Campbell, who I’d predicted would win as soon as I saw the shortlist (why did I not put a bet on?!). I was gobsmacked by the amazing comments from the judges and by the warm and lovely response from everyone I know! Thanks, you guys!

* Went on a massive Scotland-wide road-trip with the amazing Lovely Boyfriend at the wheel. I’ve lived in Scotland for 20 years this year, and until the summertime had never been to about 80% of it. We drove all the way up the east coast to the very northern tip of Caithness, then all along the northern coast, then down the west coast, even visiting Gairloch! It. was. amazing.

* Then jetted off to stunning Barcelona for some autumnal sun with Lovely Boyfriend and my BFF Martyna. A truly amazing time was had by all — and we were staying in hands-down the best airbnb ever!

* Had my feet tattooed with the words “What’s Next?” — both a positive, forward-thinking mantra of mine and the immortal words of President Jed Bartlet, protagonist of the TV show I love madly!

* Was booked to read/speak at a bunch of lovely events in the autumn.

* Began to make a name for myself as a handy freelance writer-for-hire and/or adult literacy worker-for-hire — throughout the year I’ve been booked to bring my writerly expertise to various community groups, book groups and education settings across Scotland. And I’ve loved it! Bring on 2015!

* Spent a spooky Halloween visiting various esoteric sites to look for ghosts and witches… then attending not one but two Halloween parties! For the first one, I dressed as the classic Halloween witch — for the second, which was book themed, I donned some fangs and went as Lucy Westenra.

* Celebrated my fourth year as the other half of Lovely Boyfriend (his real name is Steve, by the way) — personal chef, champion cuddler and all-round cute Scottish bloke. We spent a romantic weekend in York, reading books, writing poems and eating all the delicious vegan food we could find, before heading down to London to hole up in Foyles and then see my fangirl fave Richard Schiff in the London Playhouse’s infamous Speed-The-Plow.

* Pitched myself to the brilliant For Books’ Sake as a possible Scottish tutor for their great new all-female writing course Write Like A Grrrl… and was accepted! My Edinburgh class starts on 24th January and you can sign up right here!

* Continued to build my wee vintage jewellery business, Edinburgh Vintage, with — and I am telling you this because I am super proud of myself — revenue nearly quadrupling in the last twelve months! EV is basically my second job now, and I love it. I have exciting new places to take it in 2015, too!

* Delivered my first full project since joining Scottish Book Trust in October last year. Walk The Walk is a graphic novel designed specifically for adults who struggle with literacy, and is developed using an innovative participatory methodology. I’ve spent the year travelling all over Scotland to meet young people and adults who attend literacy support groups, to chat to them about their experiences and to get their input at every stage of the book’s development. I’ve also got to see the process that goes into producing a specialist book, from the very first kernel of an idea, to the final product being sent out to literacy groups nationwide. I am really, really proud of this thing and want to give a massive, grateful shoutout to the powerhouse all-female creative team I got to work with on it all year: my boss, Koren (aka the best boss ever), genius writer Gowan Calder, and utterly magical artist Jill Calder. Thank you ladies!

* Kept in touch with another powerhouse all-female creative team… the one behind 2012’s Making It Home Project, on which I worked as a Creative Facilitator. We’ve spent the year plotting various ways to take what we learned with MiH and take it forward into a brand new project. I’m hoping that in the new year, we’ll be able to announce what we’ve settled on. Spoiler: it’s going to be really, really exciting. Oh, and this time I’ll be Project Co-Manager! Be afraid!

* Visited a bunch of really great bookstores and vegan restaurants… click on the links for my Top 10 of each!

* Had poems published in loads of places — thank you, kind editors! You can see a full list, and read some of the poems, here.

The year in pictures:

Spring '14
^ Corrections done! Final draft submitted! Beast slayed!

The Bugle
^ Working on The Bugle with service users at Bethany Christian Trust.

A Trip to Wetheral (13)
^ Springtime!

The Business writing event at Pleasance Cabaret Bar (1)
^ Speaking at The Business with Jenni Fagan, Francis Bickmore, Jenny Brown and other clever folk!

Edventures2 (1)
^ Oh, Edinburgh.

Tackling Sectarianism (2)
^ Travelling around Scotland to consult with literacy learners for Walk The Walk. This is the Redburn Youth Centre in Irvine, North Ayrshire.

My PhD Graduation! (3)
^ Graduation! You may now call me Dr Askew!

Sinclair Girnigoe 2014 (15)
^ Road-tripping literally the length and breadth of Scotland with my wonderful bloke. Best summer ever!

Edwin Morgan Poetry Award
^ Reading at the Edinburgh International Book Festival — and then winning a prize! — at the Edwin Morgan Poetry Award 2014…

OMG!
^ …then getting permission to go public with this even better news!

Secret Herb Garden, Edinburgh
^ My bff Martyna moved back to Edinburgh after five years away!

Autumn in Edinburgh (11)
^ I made my feet more awesome.

Barcelona Autumn 2014 (27)
^ Yet more adventures… this time in gorgeous Barcelona.

Edinburgh, end of autumn
^ Loving my wee house. Spot the Kringle Candles dotted around everywhere… this year, I became a Kringle addict.

York Nov 14 (18)
^ Aaand more adventures: first in stunning York…

London weekend, Nov 14
^ …then London!

Waverley Care Walking Group's Inside/Out Project
^ A Christmas outing with some of the lovely service users at Waverley Care: making concrete poems from natural materials as part of the Inside/Out project.

Christmas Eve 2014
^ And a cozy family Christmas to finish :)

I hope that 2015 brings you everything you could possibly wish for, and that all your resolutions are easy to keep! I say: 2015? Bring it on!

If you want to see what I got up to in 2008, 2009, 2010 2011, 2012, or 2013, just click on each year!

*

Like shiny things? Check out Edinburgh Vintage, a totally unrelated ‘sister site’ full of jewels, treasures and trinkets. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

In 2013, I…

Monday, December 30th, 2013

Happy 2013

At the end of 2012, I wrote, “it’s been a great year. I feel I am a million miles away from the place I was in this time last year — phew! I am also extremely excited about 2013 and all that it holds for me. I plan to finish my PhD, put together my first full-length poetry collection (at last!), get more tattoos (yeah!), and start work on a ton of exciting new projects. Wish me luck!” Did I manage all those things? I freaking well did! Check it out!

In 2013, I…

* saw in the New Year with loads of lovely friends around me, shimmying on down at the Summerhall New Year bash. Amazing night! (If you can go to this year’s one, I highly recommend it!)

* re-joined the Making It Home Project for our ambitious film-making phase, thanks to funding from the wondrous Creative Scotland! Keep reading to find out how it went…

* began a year of mentoring sessions with Sarah Ream, poetry ed at Polygon and total and utter superhero, funded by the Scottish Book Trust. With help from Sarah, I began taking nervous little baby steps towards creating a first collection MS.

* spent a very cold few days in and around gorgeous Oslo in the new year: negotiating several feet of snow, discovering the incredible TV show Borgen (and becoming totally hooked!), and writing plenty of poems.

* baked a lot of stuff.

* celebrated my 27th birthday: there was snow! In March!

* celebrated my first veganniversary by pledging to continue to eat as much delicious cruelty-free dessert as I can find. Win!

* repeatedly apologised to everyone for not doing more poetry gigs… when actually, when I look back, I did quite a lot.

* spent Easter in beautiful, deliciously warm Barcelona: revisiting all my favourite vegan restaurants, sunbathing in parks and on rooftops, and again, writing lots of poems. Hooray!

* became suddenly able to afford to buy a house with Lovely Boyfriend. Began immediately and excitedly house-hunting!

* successfully co-edited (alongside the gorgeous Jane McKie) the Making It Home Book, with thanks to all of YOU for your generous crowdfunding!

* spent over nine hours under the needle to have my Oliver No. 9 typewriter half-sleeve tattooed. It is so lush! (Scroll down!)

* escaped one heck of an evil manager, and immediately boosted my self-esteem, by negotiating a transfer to teach at a different campus. (He’s since been demoted and is no longer anyone’s manager. Thanks, karma!)

* went out filming with the brilliant media co-op and our gorgeous groups of Making It Home women. I learned all about how hard film-making is (needless to say, the women were all flippin’ geniuses at it), held lots of things, and ran around with coats keeping our actresses warm!

* I went to lovely London for a few days and discovered Foyles. HOW HAD I NEVER BEEN TO THIS MAGICAL PLACE BEFORE?! (I bought so many books. So many.)

* successfully negotiated the purchase of our new house, a sweet two-bed semi off Inverleith Row (no less)…

* …and immediately began the process of completely re-vamping this never-modernised house. The phrase “no idea what we were getting into” doesn’t even start to cover it!

* learned how to work a belt-sander, learned how to plaster, and wielded a sledgehammer (oh hell yeah!) for the first time ever, thanks to the above!

* went on tour around Edinburgh and Glasgow, showcasing Making It Home. Thank you so much to the many magical people who supported us on our whistle-stop tour!

* finally drew a line under three-and-a-half years of study, and submitted my PhD.

* started the serious work of putting together my manuscript.

* was selected for the Contemporary Women’s Writing Skills Development programme, and attended the amazing first session at the University of Southampton.

* re-launched Edinburgh Vintage as a jewellery store and saw a fourfold increase in sales!

* successfully interviewed for, and accepted, a brilliant amazing fantastic wonderful new job (basically, my dream job, I’m serious) at Scottish Book Trust. I am now their Young Adult Project Co-Ordinator!

* spent four great days in beautiful Munich: eating vegan food, petting lots of kitties, and being constantly surrounded by pretty autumnal foliage. (We also visited the memorial camp at Dachau, which was exhausting, but I now believe that visiting a concentration camp is something every privileged human ought to do at some point.)

* completed a first draft of my first collection manuscript, and began test-driving poems from it at various events… including at Book Week Scotland!

* organised and judged the inaugural One Night Stanzas Poetry Contest! Have you read the winning poems yet?

* had a wood-burning stove put in as part of our new house renovations. Imagine how good that might be, then double it.

* successfully defended my PhD thesis to examiners Miriam Gamble and Dr Leontia Flynn at my viva. I passed! You may now call me Dr Askew!

* finished building and renovation work on our living room only just in time for Christmas, and spent my first Christmas morning with Lovely Boyfriend — after four years of being together! Blissful.

The year in photos…

051
Chilling in Oslo…

252716
…but warming up again in Barcelona!

252461
27th birthday cupcakes!

252488
A storyboard from one of the amazing Making It Home films.

252927
The half-sleeve! Six months on and I still swoon when I look at it.

252961
Out filming with the gorgeous Sheena, Elaine and Stacey of Making It Home. Such pros.

Ahlam, Augusta, Lucinda and the MIH posse, Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA
Celebrating a successful Making It Home tour, with a triumphant boogie at North Edinburgh Arts!

Floor sanding
House flippin’! Sanding, sanding, so much sanding…

In the English Garden, Munich, 16/10/13
Hanging out in autumnal Munich.

Goldenacre Path.  My new neighbourhood!
My new neighbourhood!

1384400
Sparkly stuff goes live at Edinburgh Vintage!

Making it Home meets Book Week Scotland at Glasgow Women's Library!
Book Week Scotland 2013!

1384544
The thesis-beast: SLAYED!

1384368
FINISHED IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!!! …just.

Wishes for 2014?
You know what? I am so freaking happy right now. In the past year, so many amazing things have happened — passing my PhD, buying my first house with my gorgeous man, landing my dream job. I feel greedy wishing for anything else, really. However, I do like to have goals, so here are one or two hopes for the year ahead…

*Shop my poetry MS around some cool publishers, and hopefully place it somewhere fantastic (I know, I know. Poetry is dismal right now, especially for first collections. But we can but try).
* Gather my strength to continue the great renovation and finish off the kitchen, tackle the bathroom and create a veggie garden!
* Adopt a dog… or two! Probably greyhounds!
That’s basically it. Oh, and write some good poems. That’d be nice, too.

If you want to see what I got up to in 2008, 2009, 2010 2011, or 2012, just click on each year!

I hope 2014 brings you everything you could possibly wish for, and more besides. Happy New Year!

*

Like shiny things? Check out Edinburgh Vintage, a totally unrelated ‘sister site’ full of jewels, treasures and trinkets. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

Making It Home: my photos, my thank yous, and the project films

Monday, September 16th, 2013

Sheena, Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

The Making It Home Project officially “ended” in June 2013 (I put “ended” in quotemarks because of course such a project never ends — our films are still being seen by interested eyeballs and there are still ideas for events and other exciting follow-up things in the works. Hopefully more on that soon!). I’d meant to write this post then, as things wrapped up. Then life got in the way, as life likes to do. But I didn’t forget about the post…

Mainly, I wanted to share some of the photos I took at the various MIH events in June, when we took our inspiring band of powerhouse women on the road to showcase their work. For folks not involved in the project, these just look like photos of people… but they’re a testament to the great achievements of everyone involved in the project.

Up at the top there, for example, is Sheena, one of our fabulous filmmaking women. In the photo, she’s addressing the Scottish Storytelling Centre’s cinema/lecture theatre, full of folks who came to their screening of our films. In this photo, she looks like the world expert in her field… because she is. All the women who took part in our project can now call themselves experts in the field of filmmaking. How cool is that?

Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

Sheena and Stacey, Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA

Some of our women hanging out at our various events. Only a year ago they’d never met, and many of them were daunted by the prospect of working together, especially when filmmaking was such an unknown quantity. In next to no time, however, they formed a hugely productive creative community, achieving gobsmacking things. They — heck, we! I include myself here 100%! — have also formed friendships that, I hope, will last lifetimes. I want to thank all of them equally for their hard work, their courage in the face of the scary cameras and sometimes-tricky conversations, and the wicked humour and energy they deployed throughout. You guys made films that changed the way people (myself included) looked at the world. AMAZING!

Rema, Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

Here’s Rema Sherifi, who’s of the most impressive women I have ever met. (Seriously. Just look at her story.) Rema runs the Maryhill Integration Network, where she’s made a difference to hundreds of lives. Without Rema’s expert guidance and great wisdom, our project could never have happened.

Esa, Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

Here’s Esa Aldegheri, our brilliant project leader and another super inspiring woman! Throughout the project, she’s been a quiet but vital presence, doing constant hard work behind the scenes, tirelessly plotting and preparing so that the rest of us could carry out our work with minimal disruption. I wish I had even a tenth of her patience and calm… I’m basically convinced that Esa could (and should) run the world! Can we make this happen, please?

Lynda and Vilte, Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA

Lynda Peachey (left) was my closest “co-worker” on the project, and basically, my rock (I mean it) whenever things went wrong. She was always ready with a cup of tea, a filthy joke, or some sage advice whenever and wherever it was needed. She was also there with hugs and smiles when things went right, which is just as important! I’m starting to keep a mental list of the various Wise Women in my life, and Lynda tops that list.
And Vilte Vaitkute (right) is just a sickmakingly talented filmmaker and facilitator of all-things-film-related. While the rest of us get all nostalgic about this great project coming to a close, Vilte’s still working hard to keep our films in circulation, and to get new eyeballs in all sorts of exciting places to see them. Her colleague Catherine Weir — who managed to avoid all my photos! — also deserves tons of credit for this work. They’re a fearsome and brilliant team!

Jane, Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

A few more fine folks who deserve praise: first up, Jane McKie, who some of you may already know as a bloody excellent poet, winner of the Edwin Morgan Poetry Prize and all sorts of other accolades. Jane worked as my opposite number on the project, working her magic in Maryhill while I kept an eye on things in Pilton. I feel really privileged to have worked with such a fine poet and such a genuinely lovely person. Thank you, Jane!

Rachel, Making it Home at the Scottish Storytelling Centre

Next up, Rachel Farrier — who looks like a 1940s movie star all the time, incidentally, not just in this photo! Rachel was another vital presence on the project, working away tirelessly to make our lives as straightforward as possible. She also co-ordinated much of our events tour in June, and got loads of real actual human beings to come and sit in seats and watch the films the women made. Massive props to her partner in crime David Farrier, too — another person who apparently avoided my camera at all times, but who deserves to be warmly thanked and celebrated here nevertheless!

Lucinda, Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA

Lucinda Broadbent is another of these women who’s so impressive you feel like you ought to be a bit frightened of them. Look at all the amazing stuff she’s done! However, being frightened of someone so warm and smiley is rather tricky. Instead you just feel chuffed to have met and worked with such a total pro.

Sheena and Stacey speak at the Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA

And last but by no means least is Alison Hughes, who was at my side almost every minute of the project, making sure that the women and I had all the help and support we needed. Without Alison’s presence, I would have felt considerably less confident in our various workshops and discussion sessions — lady, you really were invaluable. (PS: Alison is also a GREAT yoga teacher, and if you’re in Edinburgh, you should go to her classes!)

Finally, I need to thank everyone else who was even vaguely involved with making this project work — staff from Maryhill Integration Network and the Pilton Community Health Project; all the folks from our partner organisations who aren’t mentioned here; Alan Lennon, and all our Sponsume donors, who helped make our book a reality… and any friend or family member who supported anyone involved as we worked through our exhausting and rewarding year!

Ahlam, Augusta, Lucinda and the MIH posse, Making it Home Farewell Party at NEA

Here we all are, dancing with proper, unfettered joy at our final screening and farewell bash. If you’ve read this far, you surely want to see what all the fuss is about… please do scroll down and take the time to watch the four films that the fabulous folks above all worked incredibly hard to create. (You can also watch the Making Of Making It Home right down at the bottom.) If you like what you see — if these films make you laugh, cry, think differently about the world — please do pass them on, share them, and widen the conversation. The wonderful women of Making It Home made these films for you. I hope you love them.


“The Shortest and Sweetest of Songs,” by Team Sami, Maryhill


“It Could Happen To You,” by the Dream Team, Pilton


“Choice,” by Team Choice, Maryhill


“Come Home,” by The Sweeties, Pilton


The Making of Making It Home

Budding writer? Creative person in need of a fun job? Check out the various resources and services at Bookworm Tutors. Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

In 2012, I…

Saturday, December 29th, 2012

2012 journal... nearly done!

You may remember my admission here, in January, that 2011 had not been a very good year. I wrote here — and in my paper journal — that I wanted to reclaim my life from work-related stress and insomnia. I also wrote in my paper journal that I wanted to extricate myself from the politics and cliques of the poetry community (locally and online), and just write. It took a while — nearly all year, with the latter — but I feel like I can now say I managed to do those things. 2012 was a good year, all told. Here’s some of the stuff that happened.

In 2012, I…

* worked as a reader for the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for the fourth year running.

* won a Scottish Book Trust New Writers Award, and am about to begin — quite belatedly, which was my choice — my programme of creative mentoring.

* spent two great weekends in York early in the year, and remembered how much I loved it. Going back soon!

* moved from a 0.7PTE contract at work to a 0.5PTE contract, as part of my “reclaim my life!” challenge. Less teaching hours, less office politics, more free time, less stress (also less money, obv, but that’s OK).

* moved into the third year of studying for my PhD in Creative Writing. Switched to a brand new thesis topic for the third time. Probably drove my supervisor crazy.

* delivered a lecture, “Making Poems, Writing Histories, Excavating Myths”, to the Melrose Literary Society.

* went vegan, and I love it.

* scored an amazing haul of SEVENTEEN antique typewriters on Freegle! (Still haven’t got round to starting restoration/reclamation work on most of them…)

* organised an all-female poetry slam to celebrate International Women’s Day 2012. It went really well!

* celebrated my 26th birthday with not one but TWO birthday parties: one a nom-tastic vegan dinner at Zeffirelli’s with my family, the other a fabulous few rounds of cocktails at The Dome with friends. Yay!

* attended the Scottish Women’s Aid Feminist Day School at the University of Edinburgh, and was inspired.

* was shortlisted for an Eric Gregory Award for a second time (first time was 2010. I forgot to enter in 2011).

* competed in Literary Death Match (Edinburgh, ep 4) AND FREAKING WELL WON!

* spent a week in beautiful Barcelona, and totally fell in love with the place.

* spent a weekend training to become a Scottish Women’s Aid Community Champion. Possibly the most empowering weekend of my life so far!

* performed in “Dear Glasgow,” directed by David Grieg, at the Traverse Theatre.

* read poems in a magical launderette in Durham!

* spent a long weekend in gorgeous Whitby — surely the most literary seaside resort there is? — with Lovely Boyfriend.

* was introduced to The West Wing, fell in love, and watched all seven series in the space of a few weeks.

* spent ten days in Greece while One Night Stanzas was on hiatus. Visited Athens, and spent a week in a one-room cold-water whitewashed cottage on the tiny island of Hydra. Here’s the view from our room! We went swimming at daybreak, befriended donkeys, made lots of delicious vegan food, and spent tons of time writing, writing, writing. It was great.

* taught Creative Writing at the Scottish Universities International Summer School for the third consecutive year. My wonderful students were Dan, Linda, Sarah, Joanna, Daniel and Jill. You guys were fab!

* had a poem shortlisted in the Mslexia Women’s Poetry Contest.

* went to see George Watsky on the London leg of his Nothing Like The First Time tour. Also spent a fabby weekend hanging out in London!

* organised and hosted One Night Stanzas presents Watskyx2 — definitely my biggest and scariest moment as a poetry promoter! But it went SO WELL, yay!

* went to a ton of great stuff at the Edinburgh International Book Festival, including Louise Welsh, Andrew Keen, Alice Oswald’s Memorial event (OMG!), Daniel Franklin launching Megachange, Billy Letford & Sean Borodale and Marina Warner (who I also saw at the International Festival, ’cause I’m a fangirl).

* read poems at Blackwells: Writers at the Fringe.

* attended a discussion that included the amazing Jean Kilbourne, personal superheroine of mine, and met her afterwards! Swoon!

* was employed as a creative facilitator with a local women’s community support group (details redacted!), and I am loving working with these amazing women as they read poems, share stories and unlock their creativity!

* joined the Shore Poets committee and became their blogging/tweeting/Facebooking person, among other things!

* survived root canal surgery!

* got tattooed (again).

* went to beautiful Paris for the weekend with Lovely Boyfriend to celebrate our two-year anniversary!

* helped run Scottish Women’s Aid’s I GET IT campaign, spreading positive messages about healthy relationships to young people aged between 16 and 25.

* wrote articles and reviews for The Skinny, xoJane (two, in fact), the Edinburgh Review (again, two! One’s online here) and The Scottish Review of Books.

* had three poems included in Where Rockets Burn Through: Contemporary Science Fiction Poetry from the UK

* spent an amazing day at the Maryhill Integration Network in Glasgow, meeting incredible, inspiring women, and being treated to a crash-course in filmmaking, a fashion show, a dance recital and a ton of delicious food!

Favourite photos from this year:

Vegan Noms (1)
Just one of the many millions of photos I took of delicious vegan breakfast/brunch food. I obtained this book upon becoming vegan and it changed my world!

Lovely Boyfriend
Lovely Boyfriend being lovely.

Hooping in the Meadows
I will remember summer 2012 as the summer of hooping in the park with my sister!

Rainbows over Tollcross
I love living in Tollcross — and my top floor, bay-window view! — so, so much.

My SUISS class of 2012
My fantabulous SUISS Class of 2012!

Watsky x2 performers
All the lovely performers from One Night Stanzas presents Watskyx2! Such talent!

Lit 101 students' work
Just when I’m feeling down and crap, along come my amazing students to make me feel inspired again.

Parisian adventures
♡ ♡ ♡

Insane family portrait...
A loopy family portrait.

Poetree
Visiting the jaw-droppingly gorgeous GiftED sculptures.

Glitterowl
& Christmas comes to ONS Towers!

It’s been a great year. I feel I am a million miles away from the place I was in this time last year — phew! I am also extremely excited about 2013 and all that it holds for me. I plan to finish my PhD, put together my first full-length poetry collection (at last!), get more tattoos (yeah!), and start work on a ton of exciting new projects. Wish me luck!

If you want to see what I got up to in 2008, 2009, 2010 or 2011, just click on each year!

*

You can also visit Read This Press for poetry and typewriter paraphernalia! Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

Things I Love Thursday #67: Paris edition

Thursday, October 18th, 2012

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Paris (40)

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

Parisian adventures

What are you loving this week?

*

You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

In 2010, I…

Friday, December 31st, 2010

This has become a bit of a ONS tradition, as I did it last year and the year before, too. It helps me reflect on the past year and prepare for the next one, as well as reminding me to be grateful for all the awesome stuff I’ve seen, done and been involved in over the past year. I recommend you make your own list too! Here’s mine for 2010. In 2010, I…

* worked as a reader for the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for the second year running, and one of the novels I recommended — Strangers by Anita Brookner — made the shortlist!

* was commissioned by The Body Shop Plc to write a poem for their Dreams Unlimited fragrance range — that poem is now on packaging and merchandising in every UK store… and beyond!

* came third at the inaugural Is This Poetry? Slam at Edinburgh’s Jazz Bar

* completed training at the University of Edinburgh to become a postgraduate teaching assistant, teaching undergraduates

* continued my work as a Lecturer in Literature & Communications at Edinburgh’s Telford College, and began a PDA in Adult Education

* broke up with my boyfriend of four and a half years, Leon — also known in these parts as The Boy — on mutual and genuinely amicable terms

* helped the lovely Stefa to organise and run a poetry/filmmaker speed-dating evening at the Scottish Poetry Library as part of the this collection project

* helped showcase this collection‘s work so far at a two-day film-and-poetry extravaganza at the McEwan Hall –details here and here!

* got to be birth partner for my lovely friend Amanda as she went into labour with her beautiful daughter Evelyn Waverley — born 3/4/2010!

* passed the first year review of my PhD in Creative Writing and Contemporary Scottish Poetry, nervously, but apparently with flying colours!

* judged my first ever poetry competition — the Sentinel Literary Quarterly Poetry Contest — my thoughts here and here!

* moved house, from swinging Stockbridge… about six blocks down the road to Comely Bank!

* proudly saw my little sister graduate from her BA (Hons) in Graphic Design from the University of Northumbria

* was featured in The Herald Newspaper’s weekend “Lifelines” column, and photographed by the gorgeous Julie Howden

* was taken on as a Tutor in Creative Writing for the University of Edinburgh’s “SUISS” summer school, and worked intensively with eight fabulous and super-talented students — check them out! And I’ll be back next year!

* tried my hand at online dating, no less (I’ll try anything once!), and thank goodness I did… met the utterly gorgeous Steve, who, I’m happy to say, is now my new partner in crime!

* won the 2010 Virginia Warbey Poetry Prize!

* attended the Traquair Fair 2010!

* visited gorgeous Paris for the first time ever, with my beautiful new boyfriend… and went for dinner with the legendary Jim Haynes

* dressed as the green absinthe fairy for Halloween 2010

* proudly attended the launch of my lovely and talented friend Ryan Van Winkle‘s first book, the Crashaw Prize winner Tomorrow, We Will Live Here (buy it!)

* was invited to be part of the brilliant Dualism: Poets and Portraits project (more on this soon!)

* FINALLY completed work on my long-awaited first pamphlet collection, The Mermaid and the Sailors, due from Red Squirrel Press — watch this space!

* read at: FemSoc ShoutOut at the University of Edinburgh // Hidden Door January 2010 // Is This Poetry? // Word of Mouth LGBT Open Mic // Poetry at the Bowery // A Terrifying Ordeal at Henry’s Jazz Cellar // Shore Poets May 2010 // Scottish Universities International Summer School // Utter! at the Edinburgh International Festival // film x poetry II at the Edinburgh International Festival // Chaos Raging Sweet at the Edinburgh International Festival // Origins at Morden Tower // Inky Fingers at Forest // 100 years of Norman MacCaig at Poetry at the GRV, October // Word of Mouth Open Mic, October //

* published in: The Guardian // Cleaves // YM: New Work In Poetry // Anon 7 // Etcetera // nominated for Best of the Web for this poem

* gigs of 2010: Callel at CabVol, May // Callel at Leithfest, May // Broken Records at Liquid Rooms, August // Miagi at Voodoo Rooms, September // Music Like A Vitamin, September // The Hollies at Usher Hall, October // Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, HMV Picturehouse, December // Aberfeldy at Liquid Rooms, December

* favourite photos of 2010 (click to enlarge):

mcewanhallbw mcewanhall brokenrecords
newroom molegrad suiss
traqfair Morden Tower bodyshop
jimshouse shakespearenco perelachaise
halloween 75802_10150310694760573_663035572_15785629_7675191_n claireandstevexmas
Also this one of Ryan’s launch by Chris Scott

Here’s to 2011!

(Photo by Pablo Alfieri)

Subscribe to ONS! Add to Technorati Favorites