One Night Stanzas

A previous version of this post appeared at One Night Stanzas in September 2008.

There are a lot of people out there who will tell you that in order to become a successful writer, you will definitely need some kind of creative-writing-specific qualification. However, there are also a lot of people out there who will tell you that you should avoid creative writing qualifications like the plague. Personally, I decided to go down the qualification route: I have a MSc in Creative Writing and I’m soon to complete a Creative Writing PhD. In light of this, I thought I’d stick my oar in on the subject.
I’m not going to say a definite yes or no either way — you may or may not want or need a creative writing qualification. You may not know right now. You may have people telling you what you should or shouldn’t do on all sides. At the end of the day, the ‘to study or not to study?’ question is yours to answer… but I can offer some pros and cons, dos and don’ts to help you.

Creative writing courses: Pros

- Courses provide opportunities for quality workshopping and mentoring.

- Seminars and tutorials are often run by experienced writers (or former writers).

- You learn about writing, editing, drafting and publishing processes… on some courses you can also learn about how writing is marketed, distributed and sold.

- Opportunities for publication may well be open to you.

- You’re surrounded by other writers like yourself who understand your ambition and won’t try to discourage you.

- You get honest, useful feedback on your work, and help to implement changes.

- More and more courses are springing up all the time, and more and more people are taking them - this means more choice when it comes to where and when you study, how you study and with whom.

- Being part of a course-group often provides opportunities to attend writing-related events, and to meet people in the writing business.

Creative writing courses: Cons

- Creative writing is a very specialised field and you may find yourself with limited career options when your course has finished.

- Creative writing is sometimes looked down upon, or not always well-respected - by businesses and even by some academics.

- There is a common belief that creative writing cannot actually be “taught” and so courses are a waste of time.

- Courses of all kinds can be very costly, particularly if you enroll at a prestigious institution.

- Some courses are run and taught by individuals who do not have sufficient knowledge or experience of the field.

- Workshops can often be less constructive in a long-term course situation, because cliques and animosities can develop between classmates.

- Some writers (even some editors) reserve a certain kind of snobbery for those with creative writing qualifications.

- Because more and more people are studying creative writing, qualifications of this kind are becoming less unique and as a result, less respected.

Dos and don’ts.

DO find a highly-rated course at a good institution. Yes, it’s expensive to go to a good Uni or college, but you generally do get what you pay for. Make sure the qualification you get is going to be legitimate and useful.

DON’T take online creative writing “Masters” or “Degree”, particularly if you have to pay for them. They are generally worthless on paper. (Some online short courses are good, but generally aren’t accredited — so you don’t end up with an actual qualification at the end.)

Probably DON’T take creative writing as your first University degree. By doing so you may back yourself into a corner when it comes to career options. Take a more open-ended degree and specialise in creative writing later, or take a creative writing module or postgraduate course.

DON’T feel that you have to rush into taking a course. If you finish high school or graduate from your degree and you want to do other things first, do by all means. If you want to produce some more writing first, do. No hurry.

DO make sure you can afford your chosen course. If you can’t, look around at other courses - but DON’T just enrol “because it’s cheap”. There may be a reason for that. At the same time, DON’T assume a course is really good because it’s expensive. Do your research.

DO make sure that, if you’re required to have “writing experience,” you have some. You may well be in a class with people who have a fair few publications and projects under their belt. If you’ve only ever written three poems, look for a course designed for beginners.

DO vet the course-organisers and tutors before you apply. Do they sound like they have the right experience/type of writing/research interests to teach you?

DO vet the course, too. Does it go in the direction you want? Does it look unprofessional, or too academic? Trust your instincts, get on a course that will benefit you personally.

DO search around for funding, from student loans, grants, bursaries and scholarships. DON’T run up your course bill on a credit card or via a personal loan unless you’re sure you can manage it.

DON’T take the word of people who say you must or must not study creative writing. Listen to their advice, but DON’T feel obliged to act on it.

DON’T start a course if you already think you might find it too hard, or you might drop out. It can be really costly.

DO vet “free” courses very, very carefully.

DON’T assume that taking a course will make you a writing superstar… but also DON’T assume that, just because it won’t, it’s worthless.

I’d love to hear what you think about the benefits and disadvantages of creative writing courses. Have you done one? Give me your feedback!

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

(Photo credit)

Procrastination Station has been on hiatus while ONS had a bit of an October midterm slow-down. Here’s a bumper edition to make up for it. Enjoy!

THIS IS GREAT: 10 words you LITERALLY (nooo!) didn’t know you were getting wrong. I want to Pritt-Stick this to all my students’ foreheads.

Received a snotty rejection letter for your work? Rest assured, it really does happen to the best writers!

Check out this cool, illustrated step-by-step guide to Japanese book sewing… complete with gif!

Thanks very much to the lovely Swiss for this wee mention of ONS on his blog!

This is deviation:

I had no designs on altitude, knees
flush to the acrylic; all that yellow

was more light than I can speak against.

I utterly love this poem by the lovely Chris Emslie in the current [queer] issue of PANK.

I’m a massive, massive fan of the wonderful Diane di Prima, and she’s sick. She needs help to pay her healthcare bills. Can you help?

Herman Melville says PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS.

I’m super-extra-mega excited to have FOUR poems in this beautiful forthcoming book, now available for pre-order. Sci fi poetry, OMG!

Kinda spooky, Halloween-y…. mildly morbid. Epitaphs of famous authors.

Point A) “Censuring” is not the same as “censoring.” They look and sound similar, but nope.
Point B) Freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from repercussions. [...]
Point C) Internet anonymity, which, yes, is often a condition of people feeling that they can speak freely, is not a right. And it’s definitely not some kind of Fortress of Solitude…
Point D) People who equate “free speech” with “my God-given right to perpetual access to women’s bodies, no matter how ill-gotten or exploitative” can eat a big plate of Cry Me A River, and then fuck right off.

This article at Bitch is a damn fine response to the whine of “but I’m allowed to be an asshole because FREE SPEECH!” that echoes endlessly off the grimy walls of the internets.

I HAVE A FAVOUR TO ASK YOU GUYS! As one of their community champions, I would love for you to click here and take two minutes to vote for Scottish Women’s Aid to win the Weatherseal Charity Weekend Prize for 2012. They deserve it, they’ll appreciate it, and they’re awesome.

I’m sure you’ve heard tell of the hilarious prank Tube signs that are doing the rounds. Here are some of the best!

6. Challenge homophobia. As a role model for your students, respond to homophobia immediately and sincerely. Encourage in-service trainings for staff and students on homophobia and its impact on gay and lesbian youth.

7. Combat heterosexism in your classroom. Include visibly gay and lesbian role models in your classroom.

Ten simple ways to make your classroom (or hey, any workplace) a safe space for LGBTQ* folks.

This is such a sweet idea… compliment matchboxes full of exquisite art!

A few folk have asked if the Claire of this company is me. It isn’t… but I may soon become a customer!

What not to wear on Halloween.

It is ridiculous — RIDICULOUS — that we live in a society where it’s a good guess that a shooting in a place often frequented by women is going to be an extension of a “domestic dispute.” Anastasia Shields pointed out to me that just two days ago in Casselberry, Florida, a man killed three women at a beauty salon in what the police are calling “part of a domestic dispute.” A few years ago, about a mile from my home, a man walked up to his ex-girlfriend in the parking lot of her office as she was walking into work and shot her point blank, killing her immediately. I think about her every time I drive past there, which is almost daily.

A great, rage-making piece at Shakesville about our society’s problem with domestic violence.

Have you heard about Edinburgh’s cringe-worthy new name?

Oh my goodnessss check out this amazing London loft. Bright red kitchen HELLO!

I defy you not to go “aaaaaaaaaaw!”

Definatalie’s Fancy Lady Industries is having a giveaway. I SO WANT THAT STUFF!

The past (almost) four years of my life haven’t been exactly fun, but the thought of still having that $40,000 of debt, of being so financially desperate that I have to pay an overdraft fee for a pack of cigarettes, is much, much worse than anything I went through to pay it off. It’s hard to explain -– in a good way -– but I feel like I can breathe now.

Paying off all your debts on a teachers salary? IT CAN BE DONE.

CAT BOUNCE!!! (Seriously, click this.) (via)

I so wish I had been at this party.

HEY EVERYONE LOOKIE OVER HERE! If you click nothing else from this post, CLICK THIS! My lovely sister Helen has started her own Etsy store, selling her artwork and crafts. It’s brand new and yet it already contains DINOSAURS AND OCTOPI. Why haven’t you clicked yet?! It’s called Rock Paper Lizard, go give it some love!

This — the new anthem of Edinburgh Vintage, by the way — has been stuck in my head FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS, so I am passing it on. You’re welcome.

Badass performance poet, activist and all-round awesome lady Cat Brogan has her own TV channel! Legend!

Watch. Be inspired. Act.

Aaaand I can’t decide which of these is my favourite mick-take of all the recent US election shenanigans. Both hilarious, anyway!

Have a great weekend!

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

(Photo credit)

Right before I left the States for Europe, I dyed my hair bright red. In a poetry workshop at Cave Canem, Nikki Finney asked the other poets to describe the color of my hair as specifically as possible. Red like paprika, like Kool-Aid, like burnt sienna, like rust… I carry these colors in my head like memories of past lives.

This piece, by Saeed Jones, is really excellent. All about appearance, identity, race, place and loss. Fabulous.

Want to be able to read lying down without getting neck-strain or having all the blood run out of your arms? Now you can… as long as you don’t mind looking daft.

This tutorial on how to make your own small notebook is really cool.

OMG this is a newly-found photograph of (probably) Emily Dickinson! …and speaking of Emily Dickinson: O M G !!!

“Around 11:00PM I received 3 different calls, all blocked, with one leaving a “delete your review!” voicemail and the second stating that I should just kill myself for being such a miserable person for attacking poor Emily. REALLY? And yes, I’m talking with the cops about this already. I mean that’s Misery kind of fan territory. Not long after I heard a loud bang on my deck and I was legitimately scared that it was a gunshot. Far fetched maybe but this was quickly sinking into WTF territory.”

This girl received death threats for writing an Amazon review… and the novelist felt this was pretty OK. I’ve never heard of Emily Giffin but I am sure as hell boycotting her every book after this!

A peek inside the Sketchbooks of the Pros.

Got puns? You do now!

The world’s most beautiful literary magazines — and I’ve been published in one of them! Woo!

You’re thinking about skipping over this one without clicking because it’s called How To Use Google Search More Effectively, aren’t you? DON’T, I BEG YOU. It blew my tiny little mind.

98% of everything I own is second hand. My blow dryer, my picture frames, my sheets (not as gross as you’re imagining). They cost a fraction of what I’d pay for them new, and no one’s the wiser. At least until I tell the internet that I sleep on used sheets.

ME TOO, LADY. And all the other advice listed here is bloody excellent, too.

I contributed to this IdeasMag article on how to make a good impression in your University application. If you’re a prospective student, check it out!

Katja’s meditations make me want to say thank you for more stuff. So, thank you, Katja, for your blog. It’s awesome.

Allow me to teach you a new word.

OMG Starbucks bans screenwriters! So funny!

Yes, I was scared at times, but I had also been scared sitting on my futon watching “The Real World.” (Scared of the phone, scared of the future, scared of what people said about me.) The far more terrifying fate, as I saw it, was that I would fail to become the person I wanted to be. I still wasn’t sure what that was yet. I spent much of those five months feeling like a kite dangling on a string. Was I going to head to grad school? Write for television? Open my own school? My mind filled with clouds. But my God, it was fun. It was boring, too. I took eight-hour hikes and let my mind wander, or sang the “Xanadu” soundtrack for the 18 billionth time.

Why every woman should travel alone chipped quite a big block off my terror at the thought of doing just that.

I was chuffed to come across this database of great vegan cookery zines.

…and speaking of which, I am officially a disciple of the goddess Isa Chandra Moskowitz, and her guide to vegan activism is AWESOME.

Political Facebook discussions. So awful. So true. (I harbour a special resentment for “The Thoughtful One.”)

I am neither an empty man-socket nor a fucking venus flytrap. I am not looking to “attract a man.” I am just trying to do my stuff and then maybe meet a person who likes me because I am also a person. I didn’t want to get all serious right off the bat, BUT SORRY: Women’s grueling, lifelong, losing battle to transform themselves into magical, flawless creatures with Disney hair and 15-inch waists and massive ham-lips is not for the benefit of women. And when men say that they “love to see the woman underneath the makeup,” they’re not saying they want to see your leg stubble and greasy bangs—they’re saying they want you to be better at hiding your maintenance routine.

I utterly, utterly love Lindy West. My sister, my bloke and I all cackled hysterically at her take-down of stupid guys who comment on their ladies’ beauty routines.

OK, you might think I’m ridiculous, but this woman’s videos have CHANGED MY HOUSE FOREVER.

Is it terrible that, rather than buying things from this Etsy store, I am using it as inspiration to make DIY book-based projects…?

OI!!! Edinburgh Vintage is having a SALE! There’s also a FINAL CLEARANCE section! Go buy pretty things and help me empty my spare room!

Zoe Margolis looking HAWT and calling publishers out on their bullshit.

Amy Poehler being a magical badass goddess of wisdom.

& finally, I love this. Who said Etsy sellers don’t have a sense of humour?

Have a great weekend!

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

(Photo credit)

Roughly two years ago I posted here about my first ever encounter with the incredible Scottish playwright Douglas Maxwell. He gave a great masterclass on theatre writing — and just on writing in general — for the Scottish Universities International Summerschool, and I was blown away. Since then, I’ve got to know Douglas’ work much better — most recently, I’ve bought his new book, Plays for Young People (psst, it’s awesome), and this Festival I went to see his Dream Play at the Traverse (it was called A Respectable Widow Takes To Vulgarity. Needless to say, it was excellent). But best of all, he was back at SUISS again this year with more words of wisdom for our young writers. Here are just a few I wanted to share with you…

“[Writing] isn’t craft. This is art. There is no rule you must always follow, no matter what all those books say… and you will learn more from just doing your own work than from anything beardy fools like myself say.”

“The temptation for a writer to give up is probably the most constant temptation you’ll face — and you’ll never really break through to a time when everything you write is classic. But you must not give up.”

“You’re writing for a small audience of people like you, not Lord and Lady Such-and-Such. It all works better when you think of the audience as us. Not them — not, I’m going to shock them, or, I’m going to educate them. That’s not the way to go.”

“It’s subterranean autobiography. We’re writing about us. You can write about a world event, but what does it mean to you? Start with real life, and then drop a storybomb in there.”

“There’s nothing wrong with writing as a hobby, but if you really want to really do it you have to finish. You have to write ‘The End’, and send it out there. Otherwise it doesn’t count.”

“Who wants to read a writer who’s got a thick skin? Who says, ‘I love his writing — he’s completely oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of others’? Writers have to have thin skins, they have to be sensitive people.”

“Emotional writing is where it’s at. But when it goes badly, the blood gets everywhere.”

“You’ve got to remove guesswork — either by writing about your own life, or through research. But never guess.”

“It’s hard, because how do you find a voice? It’s a bad phrase, it’s the wrong way around. You’re not trying to find your voice, you’re trying to find a song to sing that suits your voice.”

“If you’re doing it for the money, don’t do it. It’ll kill you… you write it first and then you try to find a home for it. That’s how it really works.”

You can read more of Douglas’ tips for writers in his Playwright’s Guide To Being A Playwright.

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

(Photo credit)

I was directed towards Arvon’s callout to writers for their forthcoming book, Gists, by the lovely and talented Kim Moore. Arvon want to hear what and how you think about your own writing process, and they might even deign to publish your responses alongside writers who are, you know, doing it properly. Famous, and that.

I decided to go and fill in their form because of how Kim framed it — she’d been advised to answer the questions instinctively, without thinking too much. The result was that she found out a few things about her writing process that she’d never really thought about before. Book or no book, that had to be a good idea, I reasoned.

I did the same thing as Kim. I read each question once, and not desperately carefully, and then I answered that question and moved on without reading over my answers. Fortunately, they’re not too rambling and they don’t seem too riddled with typos. The results are below. Those of you who’ve read my poems — or indeed, this blog — can tell me if they’re a fair reflection or not! And if you want to fill out the questionnaire yourself, you can do so here.

How does a book or piece of writing begin to take shape in your imagination? Do you feel your writing is a process of inventing or discovering?

It’s definitely a process of discovery. I’m a poet, and often the ‘trigger’ for a poem will just appear, unbidden. I’ll suddenly hear a line in my head, or find a few snappy words stuck in there like an old tune. I put the trigger line or phrase on a piece of paper and then start poking around with it, building on it slowly. I think that’s actually more like it: it’s more like building than anything else.

What things trigger your imaginative process (for example, significant personal experiences, particular people, places, objects, dream imagery, myths, history, etc)?

All sorts of things. But I write best when I get out of my comfort zone — when I travel to somewhere completely new and a bit unknown, for example, or when something jolts me into uncomfortable territory. I write best when I’m unhappy, when I’m angry. I find that being happy means I write less, and when I do write I produce sweet, placid poems that don’t take as many risks.

How do you work - do you plan carefully or explore in the dark, trusting the process?

I’m not a planner. I try to set aside time to write, but often that doesn’t work — the afternoon I’ve kept free for poetry ends up a frustrated few hours of scribbling and then binning. I’m better when I just trust that the poetry will come and let it come as and when it wants to. I write well on long journeys, on planes and trains. I very often get ideas just as I’m going to bed. I’ve learned that I need to make myself write things down as they appear, because they all too easily melt away again.

Do you feel in control of your writing or are you responsive to the requirements of the work as it unfolds?

I have learned to become more in control. I used to be very much of the ‘first thought, best thought’ school, but I’ve since gained a MSc in Creative Writing and I’m now reading for a Creative Writing PhD. I’ve realised that although, as I said above, I have to trust the process and let poetry appear as and when it wants to, I can also shape and curate the results. So I try to find a good middle ground. If an idea seems silly but won’t stop nagging at me, I’ll try anything once. But I’m also happy to chop things out if they look less promising after a draft or two.

Do you write a first draft quickly and then revise it, or build carefully from the start?

I edit as I go along. I’ll draft and redraft and redraft on a line by line basis, so by the end of the first full draft, the poem is already forming clearly. But I’ll also do several re-writes of each piece. I write long-hand in a large notebook and will usually write a poem out three or four times minimum before transferring it to the typewriter. I’ll try it with stanza breaks in different places, without stanza breaks, mess with enjambment. Then into the manual typewriter. I realise this is an old fashioned way of doing things — especially as I’m only 26 and learned to type on a computer — but I love what using a manual typewriter does to my writing. It makes me careful, and it makes me appreciate and respect the page, its shapes and limitations, much more than word processing does.

How do you deal with blocks in the writing process?

I used to get very stressed about creative block, but then some elders and betters pointed out to me that stress begets stress and the best way to deal with blocks is to ride them out. Now, I am very chilled about creative block. If I can’t write poetry for a few weeks, I’ll write something else — I also write non-fiction essays and a blog. I also read as much as I possibly can — other people’s poems, mainly. Reading, and just reading, dissolves a creative block much faster than any amount of forced creative writing exercises ever could.

Do you write in service of any particular values?

Accessibility. I teach Literature 101 to young people from backgrounds where books just do not factor into people’s lives. These are readers who find the very idea of the written word frightening. They don’t understand the concept of storytelling, and poetry in particular looks like voodoo. Yet, when I introduce them to a poet whose goal is openness and understanding — someone like Billy Collins — they suddenly get it. And they want to read it, and they want to write. They find that they really like poetry. Why would any poet want to suggest that poetry ought to be difficult, that poetry ought to deliberately shut out these readers? Yet plenty do, and often they’re the same poets who are simultaneously worrying over dwindling poetry audiences. I just don’t understand.

What have you learned from the practice of your craft?

That reading and writing and sharing poetry has power in it. Poetry is often misunderstood by those who’ve never really dealt with it — people think it’s archaic and serves no purpose. This isn’t true. Poetry is what language was made for. Get struggling students to write poems and their literacy scores will sky-rocket, as will their social skills. Get a poet to write your advertising copy and see what happens (a lot of companies have begun to do this — look how many TV ads are written in verse these days). Poetry is not old-fashioned, doesn’t have to be self-aggrandising or dull. I’ve learned that none of the rumours are true. Poetry is seriously hip, and what’s more, it’s a long way from being dead.

What is the relationship between the writer’s imagination and that of the reader?

When, as a reader, I really connect with a writer’s work, it’s not like a conversation — it’s deeper than that. It’s almost like a hive-mind. A good writer puts me in their character’s skin and lets me see, hear and feel what’s happening. As a teacher of creative writing I utterly hate the command, “show, don’t tell”, and ban it from my classrooms. But that command is heading in the right direction — writers shouldn’t just tell the reader something. The reader should come out of the other end of a great piece of writing feeling changed. Don’t tell them, don’t show them — change them. Maybe that’s it.

Do writers have any moral responsibility in their work, wider than fidelity to their personal vision?

Writers should always be thinking about their readers. Just as publishers and agents needs writers and should therefore respect those writers’ needs, writers need readers and should treat them accordingly. The poets I mentioned earlier who shout about their ‘right’ to write difficult, obscure poetry and still have it reviewed? They’re not thinking about the reader. Personally, I want as many people as possible to be able to access, understand and enjoy my poems. It’s not hard to make sure that you’re not being elitist.

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You can also visit Read This Press for more poetry (and typewriter paraphernalia!). Alternatively, check out Edinburgh Vintage, our sister site. If you want to get in touch you can follow OneNightStanzas on Twitter, or email claire[at]onenightstanzas.com. I reply as swiftly as I can!

Links I’ve read and liked.

Jonathan Franzen, who is already a millionaire, can make more money for saying Edith Wharton was ugly than I will make working fifty hours a week for the next six months. I am trying to make sense of all of that at once and you know what, it doesn’t fucking work. Every writer I care about, every writer I know, is better and more important and more ambitious than Jonathan Franzen.

If you read nothing else this week, read The Rejectionist on Jonathan Franzen, anger, and why Lionel Shriver should shut the hell up already.

A tiny poem by Mr Harry Giles over at a handful of stones.

“The shots girl walked around in a dress that contorted like a short question.” A great story up at ThoughtCatalog.

“Try not to sound like such a special snowflake, it’s very offputting!”
Constructive creative writing criticism: U R DOIN IT WRONG.

I really liked Michael D Conley’s poem up at Words Dance this week.

ONS favourite Stephen Nelson (who I recently mistook for a chocolate badger — it’s true!) has a new blog devoted to tiny, three-word poems. It’s awesome.

The City Lights Bookstore blog did some fab stuff to celebrate Women’s History Month (March). Just a selection of their posts included introductions to the work of Diane Di Prima, Adrienne Rich and Audre Lorde.

I love Caustic Cover Critic, and in particular their “outing” of lazy publishers who use the same old, same old stock images. Check out bendy neck girl, lady in the rain and, weirdest, naked woman in the road.

Leonardo shows up at fancy dinner even though he is a stinky poor and Kate Winslet’s mom hates him: “My mother looked at him like an insect—a dangerous insect that must be squished quickly.” After dinner, Leonardo says, “Time for me to go row with the other slaves!” Again with the slave thing. YOU GUYS ARE HELLA NOT SLAVES. PLEASE READ A BOOK.

Funniest review of Titanic ever at Jezebel.

The story of a woman who had to have four babies before she could accept feminism. This is fascinating, honest and lovely.

One of the best posts I’ve read so far on the whole Samantha Brick débacle.

You might see a scone at a trendy, locally-owned coffee shop and wonder about whether or not the sugar in the scone was harvested primarily by men or women. And that if it was harvested by women, whether or not that should be considered a triumph for gender equality because women should be breadwinners, too, damnit, or that it’s evidence that women are always being exploited? Or if by questioning the importance of the identity of the farmer, you’re just reenforcing society’s obsession with the gender binary.

Also from ThoughtCatalog: five reasons why you shouldn’t major in Women’s Studies. Oh, and five reasons why you should.

A pretty cool Robert Frost tattoo.

Obligatory happy Friday KITTEN GIF!

…oh alright, go on then. Have another.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything in the poem, but I could listen to her voice for hours.

I know I’ve posted this before, but again — it never gets old. THE SNARK. Love it.

Any fellow hoopers out there? I am just-starting-out and utterly crap, but this makes me feel better.

And speaking of which: best song to hoop to ever? Probably.

Have a great weekend!

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One Night Stanzas loves mail. Say hello via [email protected]. NB: I am physically unable to reply to non-urgent stuff unless I have a free afternoon and a cup of tea in my hand. Please be patient!

(Photo credit)

Stuff I love this week…

More gifts from the Universe.
I’ve had a pretty awesometastic week or so, I must say. Firstly, there was the really warm, loving and supportive response to my International Women’s Day all-female slam. It garnered tweets, Facebook mentions and other wee compliments from all over the place. Everyone who’d attended, it seemed — along with plenty who’d been unable to — wanted to tell me what a valuable event it had been. Harry Giles gave the slam a great write-up over at Sabotage Reviews, and Gayle Smith wrote a poem inspired by the event at her brand new blog, Tartan Tights. Thanks so much to all those of you who took a moment to tell me you enjoyed yourselves, or who made it known that you thought the event was doing something important. This is only the start of things!

Three weeks ago, it was my birthday. As it’s my Dad’s birthday the day after mine, I spent the day itself with my parents, sister and Lovely Boyfriend, having a spiffing time in the lovely Spring Lake District. We spotted lambs in fields, went for scenic drives and had amazing vegan food at Zeffirellis, which I’d advise anyone, no matter where you live, to go to, as soon as you possibly can! I had a great time, but missed the involvement of friends and fellow nutters, so the following weekend, Lovely Boyfriend helped me organise a “second birthday”, so I could include everyone (I know — how spoiled am I?!). I had no real idea what I wanted to do, other than “eat nice food and go out somewhere posh.” So, we returned yet again to my all-time favourite restaurant, David Bann, before heading to The Dome. I’ve never been to The Dome before — it was LB’s suggestion — but it is utterly lush, and I see now why folk go on about it so much! I drank several delicious French martinis and hobnobbed with a huge crowd of lovely folk who turned up to help me celebrate. I hadn’t seen some of the folk who turned up for over two years, so it was great to catch up. I had a really brilliant night, and want to say thank you so much to all those who came along, brought me gifts and bought me cocktails. You guys rock!

This week I’ve also received the very exciting news that my essay ‘”Hapless straight ladies”: pop feminism’s exclusionist tendencies‘ (click and scroll to read an excerpt) made the final shortlist of five in the Feminist and Women’s Studies Association’s 2011/12 essay prize. The piece will eventually be published in the Journal of International Women’s Studies. This is the first piece of feminist criticism I’ve put out there, and also the first time I’ve entered an essay prize, so it’s a great omen!

Finally, on the same day as I heard about the essay, I also had two poems accepted for publication at the brilliant Words Dance e-zine, run by creative powerhouse Amanda Oaks (look out for a Featured Magazines post on Amanda’s work very soon!). One poem, The typist, is already online, with another, Sadness, going up in a couple of weeks.

The Universe is continuing to be extremely kind to me right now… and I am grateful!

Literary Death Match Edinburgh, Episode 4

On Tuesday night this week I went along — in serious trepidation, I must say — to Literary Death Match Edinburgh Episode 4. I had been put forward for this terrifying ordeal by the lovely Lynsey May, and then talked into definitely doing it by the equally lovely Vikki Reilly. LDM is a kind of slam-meets-cabaret night — four writers perform, they are judged by a panel of celebs, and then two finalists go head-to-head in a truly silly, funny, totally-not-competitive-at-all final. Needless to say, I was freakin’ out…
Anyway, my fellow readers were a green and glittery Sara Sheridan, wordsmith extraordinaire Michael Pedersen, and the always-bloody-excellent short fic wizard Gavin Inglis. In the draw (decided by shooting the audience with Nerf darts), I ended up being paired to go head-to-head with Gavin, and I have to say, at that point a lot of my nerves left me, because I figured I had no chance of getting into the final after that! The Pedersen v Sheridan round was tight, but Pedersen came through victorious after judges Hannah McGill, Alan Bissett and Christopher Brookmyre had deliberated. I did what I never, ever do and changed my set in the break between rounds — terrified because Todd (Zuniga, LDM creator and total legend) had threatened to Nerf-dart anyone who ran over their alloted 7 minutes…

Anyway, my turn finally came around. Gavin read spectacularly as always, while I sat on a shiny chair on the stage behind and tried not to giggle too raucously at his brilliant short fic/short play mashup which envisioned two prim Morningside ladies discussing strap-on sex (utter genius). I’ll be honest: it sucked hard to have to follow that with my pretty poems, but I somehow got my butt to the mic and read a short set that included Typewriter and the now-infamous If You Don’t Want To Be In A Poem. Gobsmackingly, the judges picked me over Gavin (seriously, I think my jaw was actually on the floor), and I went into the final with the inimitable Mr Pedersen.

Our final was a ‘literary spelling bee.’ When Todd announced this, my heart sank — not least because I was under the influence of a heady cocktail of Innes and Gunn mixed with nerves, adrenaline and sweat (tasty), but also because I AM AN ENGLISH TEACHER and if I were to publicly fail at spelling, and the spelling of famous authors’ names, no less, I’d officially be unable to face any of my students ever, ever again. Among the names we were required to correctly spell were Chinua Achebe, Chuck Palahniuk, Jeffrey Eugenides and Alexsander Solzhenitsyn. It was DAMN CLOSE, I tell you — and at one point I had to drag poor old Lovely Boyfriend up to the stage as my “phone-a-friend”, to spell Thoreau for me (which he did, perfectly). I actually think it was LB who won me the darned thing… although I was also pretty proud of myself for correctly spelling Ondaatje in spite of my nervous funk.

So yes, the short version is: I WON LITERARY DEATH MATCH EDINBURGH! But perhaps more importantly, I had a bloody great night once I got over my terror. And my highlight, rather than winning, was actually Alan Bissett — who’s freaking awesome, by the way: do your brain a favour and go read Death of a Ladies Man — telling me that If You Don’t Want To Be In A Poem was the best poem he’d seen performed in Scotland in the past five years. I don’t know if that was just the drink talking, but holy crap… it made my night.

Some photos of the night, by the brilliant Chris Scott, Literary Paparazzo, are here. I particularly like this one of Gavin and I looking frightened out of our wits…! Thanks a million to Chris, and to Lynsey, Vikki and of course, Todd. This is what literary nights should all be like (and I don’t just mean me getting a medal). Keep up all your excellent work, folks!

What are YOU loving this week?

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One Night Stanzas loves mail. Say hello via [email protected]. NB: I am physically unable to reply to non-urgent stuff unless I have a free afternoon and a cup of tea in my hand. Please be patient!

I meet a lot of poets — I mean a lot — in my work as a lecturer and tutor, and in my own literary, writing-related travels. I like hearing and talking about other people’s writing processes, and in particular, their creative comfort zones. I believe that good creative writing teaching is all about encouraging students to venture into new, and sometimes intimidating, territory; encouraging them to use techniques they never thought they’d master. And something I hear again and again from the poets I meet is, “I wish I had a better understanding of form.”

Poetic forms can be intimidating. They can appear very tricky — and to some people, they also appear stuffy and outdated. But there’s more to poetry than just free verse. The use of a specific poetic form introduces a new kind of challenge into the writing process. Working in this way lends discipline to our creative practice. It also informs our subsequent writing, giving poets a newfound understanding about and confidence with rhyme and rhythm; even with the shape of the page and what it means.

Perhaps you’re like many of the poets I meet: comfortable working in free verse but intimidated by more fixed, traditional forms? Maybe you’re primarily a performance poet and the world of the page is a mysterious place for you? Perhaps you’ve already tackled sonnets but you’re curious about their strange cousins, the sestina and the villanelle? Or perhaps you just fancy meeting with like-minded writers and getting some feedback from an experienced, published poet and creative writing teacher.

This course is for writers who are already somewhat familiar with poetry, but who are looking for a new challenge. It is designed for a small group of six to ten people, and will be delivered in a sunny, book-filled flat in Tollcross, Edinburgh, just off the Meadows. Each week, you’ll learn about a different poetic form, from ancient haiku to super-contemporary vispo. Sessions last two hours, and a significant part of each will be given over to allowing you time to write your own poems using the forms you’ve learned about, and to experiment with new ideas.

The course costs a total of £96 per person, which works out at £16 per two-hour session. It will begin on Thursday 3rd May and run until Thursday 7th June. Classes take place on Thursday evenings between 6.30pm and 8.30pm.

For more information or to sign up, please contact [email protected]

Course outline

Week One, Thursday 3rd May: THE SONNET
An introductory session focussing on the sonnet form, from Petrarch to Shakespeare to Billy Collins and beyond. Learn how to construct the perfect love sonnet, or expand on your sonnet-ish knowledge and learn how to use this old form with a new twist.

Week Two, Thursday 10th May: THE VILLANELLE
Find out why Dylan Thomas chose the villanelle to craft what must be one of the world’s most famous poems, and try your hand at choosing your own timeless refrains.

Week Three, Thursday 17th May: THE SESTINA
One of the trickiest forms out there — get this right and you’ll earn serious poetic respect. This class will challenge you but hopefully also delight and enlighten you as we de-mystify the six-headed beast.

Week Four, Thursday 24th May: CONCRETE AND VISUAL POETRY
Form isn’t just about counting syllables. Scotland is famous for its brilliant, innovative concrete poetry courtesy of Ian Hamilton Finlay, Edwin Morgan and others. Find out what all the fuss is about and build your own concrete pieces.

Week Five, Thursday 31st May: OULIPO AND THE LONG FORM
Never heard of Oulipo? It’s all about setting yourself challenges to see how your writing responds. Rather like choosing to write your own epic or book-length poem. Come and see how it’s done.

Week Six, Thursday 7th June: HAIKU AND THE SHORT FORM
Find out what the shortest poem in the world is, and see if you can beat its tiny word count. Learn about short forms from ancient haiku to the American Sentence. Write (and, if you want to, share) your own tiny, perfect poems.

Getting to Grips with Poetic Form is taught by Claire Askew. Claire is a widely-published and multi-award winning poet, whose work has appeared in The Guardian, Poetry Scotland, The Edinburgh Review, PANK and Popshot, among others. Her debut pamphlet collection, The Mermaid and the Sailors, was published by Red Squirrel Press in early 2011, and was shortlisted for a 2010 Eric Gregory Award. A poem from the collection also won the 2010 Virginia Warbey Poetry Prize. Claire was recently awarded a 2012 Scottish Book Trust New Writers Award.
Claire graduated summa cum laude from the University of Edinburgh’s MSc in Creative Writing in 2009, for which she was awarded the William Sharpe Hunter Memorial Scholarship. She is now reading for a PhD in Creative Writing, also at the University, and she has a PDA in Adult Education. As well as teaching creative writing privately, Claire also tutors in the subject for the University of Edinburgh’s Scottish Universities International Summer School. In addition, she has worked as a Lecturer in Literature and Communication at Edinburgh’s Telford College for the past three years. You can find out more about Claire and her work here.

Testimonials

“Claire is super helpful, friendly and very communicative… never a dull class. Very informative and easy to follow!” — Jules, illustrator

“The best thing was Claire, the teacher! I enjoyed the methods that she used. I thought she was awesome.” — Alan, trainee primary teacher

“Always constructive feedback!” — Persia, student

To sign up, or for more information on any aspect of this course, including payment, please contact [email protected]

(Photo credit)

Links I love a lot lately.

Tomorrow’s my birthday, BY THE WAY. If you feel like doing something to make me happy, you could buy a little something from Edinburgh Vintage or the Read This Press store. I also have an Amazon wishlist, if you’re feeling mega-generous!

Can you not then treat poetry as one vast department store, and pick and mix, guided by a sense of ‘craft’ or something else? Indeed you can, and I think probably you should, rather than throw in your lot with a singular option. The most culturally threatening aspect of the situation is that most of these camps claim a central position, from which all others are peripheral or negative. Not only do we then have a state of permanent internecine warfare, but… we no longer know what ‘the truth’ is. All we have is versions or opinions.

I agree with pretty much all of this.

You guys. WORDS DANCE IS ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS AGAIN.

I really like this wee concrete poem from Stephen Nelson.

forgotten / green teas cooling in the crush • the silver-brimmed / purse slinks out of sight • melt perfect spheres of ice / • cherry stalks idle in the bowl • every loaded thought / teased out

I utterly loved this poem from Amy Key.

Lovely Boyfriend specialises in newspaper blackout poems. Next step, this?

A tad creepy, and a very bizarre selection of characters, but… want to see an identikit picture of your favourite literary character? Go here!

It’s not a matter of as easily inhabiting the night-time as the daytime world; more that in the night-time world, the sleepless person is the sole inhabitant. If two insomniacs were to meet in that place of displacement, each would assume that the other was a ghost, or a creature peering in from the threshold of a parallel universe.

Lovely writing on insomnia from David Harsent.

A site dedicated to Liz-Lochhead-related media? I like.

Cool and compelling diagrams and scribbles by famous writers.

Did you know Terry Pratchett has launched a novel writing contest? Yes, yes — he actually just got more awesome.

In every comic novel of the 1930s, there’s a stock flighty female character with red lips and long beads who leaves her husband before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate and she’s always known as The Bolter. That’s me

dear John Travolta.

I just died and went to anti-love-poem heaven, thanks to Julia Bird.

If you click no other link in this post, I beg of you, click this one: Sharon Olds in conversation, with advice for young poets.

Like jazz? I guarantee you will like these t-shirts.

Barbie: The Princess Shoe Party Fashion Show and Cinderella: A Sparkly Royal Thanksgiving… [these books] are EVERYWHERE and are just as soul-crushing as they sound. While I hide those titles behind the periodicals at the local library, I spend a good deal of time searching for really engaging princess stories.

Tried-and-tested kickass princess stories for worried feminist mums. Brilliant.

Photos of the insides of musical instruments. Cooler than it sounds.

I don’t really believe in marriage, but it might be worth getting married just for this.

I simply cannot afford to continue mopping up after the trolls who crawl among us, itching to bring down the tone at every available opportunity.

It’s snark-tastic… and that’s why I love this Suspension of Comments notice.

Yesterday was International Women’s Day, so let’s celebrate some great women…

Breastless from Terrier TV on Vimeo.

This is so brave, beautiful, honest and poetic. I love it.

Lucille Clifton Reads ‘homage to my hips from BillMoyers.com on Vimeo.

I also love Lucille Clifton, with a burning fiery passion.

What a voice. What a heartwrenching shipwreck of a poem.

Have a great weekend.

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One Night Stanzas loves mail. Say hello via [email protected]. NB: I am physically unable to reply to non-urgent stuff unless I have a free afternoon and a cup of tea in my hand. Please be patient!

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So yep — terrifyingly, I have managed to procrastinate my way to 100 whole posts of weird and wonderful blog links, Youtube videos and other internet flotsam over the course of my three-and-a-half years at the helm of One Night Stanzas. In recognition of this epic event, I decided to trawl through all 100 previous procrastination station posts, and bring you my pick of the best lovely links so far. Let the wwilfing commence!

I never did buy the waterproof notebook, but now I’ve remembered about it I sure am coveting it again!

“Few who believe in the potential of the Web deny the value of books. But they argue that it is unrealistic to expect all children to read “To Kill a Mockingbird” or “Pride and Prejudice” for fun. And those who prefer staring at a television or mashing buttons on a game console, they say, can still benefit from reading on the Internet. In fact, some literacy experts say that online reading skills will help children fare better when they begin looking for digital-age jobs.”

What effect does the Internet have on literacy rates? Will the web kill reading?

All-time favourite words from around the world.

Want a web/phone app that FORCES you to write? You got it!

“Although we all have stories to tell very few of us have a book worth writing in us. I am with John Milton when he argues in Areopagitica that “a good book is the precious life-blood of a master-spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life”. Very few of us are great poets.”

The old adage, “everyone has a book in them?” Not true.

A hilarious list of “ways to be cool.”

“Well, I like poetry that is amusing, that maybe makes me chuckle a little. I’d rather read something reassuring and light than something complicated or gloomy. Is that bad? Does that mean I am a jerk?”

Smart answers to some of the common, and really stupid, questions people ask about poetry.

Want to look up that poem you heard in a movie? Here’s your resource.

Not writing-related (except perhaps for the fact that the blogger misspelled “hilarious” in the post title!), but I greatly enjoyed revisiting these funny/creepy US church billboards.

A great series of interviews with poetry editors.

Altered books is a huge and beautiful vispo and book art resource. So is Fuck Yeah Book Arts!

I have a tattoo of one of these babies now, so it was cool to learn a little more about the ampersand.

“The cash registers were idle much of the time, but the [book]store was full, seemingly peopled by freeloaders sitting in chairs with stacks of books piled at their feet. What was appearent was that very few of those books would be purchased and the books in turn would be dog eared, bent , battered and otherwise made less than pristine. The staff, in turn, seemed as though they could give a flat fuck about the state of the store; sections were out of order. Vain as I am, I wanted to yell at someone.”

CHEAPSKATES AND DEADBEATS KILL BOOKSTORES! — & see some of the world’s coolest bookstores, in pictures.

Colour Me Katie has some sweet, simple rules for Living A Creative Life… also in pictures!

How could I possibly exclude Gala from an epic link-love round up? One of my all-time favourites of hers was Very Definitely Not Dinner and a Movie.

Holy freaky book art, Batman!

“Certainly you may buck the conventions of the query letter if your work is too amazing/revolutionary/brilliant to be summarized. Why don’t you also try applying for jobs without a résumé, using only your psychic powers. Let us know how that works out for you.”

The ultimate, and I mean THE ULTIMATE take on submission guidelines, by the one and only Rejectionist.

I’m really bad for auto-apologising. I clearly need to re-read this article, on stuff you should never apologise for, and why.

I think I’m in love: a Flickr group devoted to the coolest customised Moleskines on the planet. Hipstertalent!

Ever wondered how a publisher goes about choosing the perfect covers for their about-to-be-published books?

DIY Pirateship Armada: PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE HERE. (I am jealous of them.)

“Inside my sheltering head: the sound of rustling green. Husband,
you are the riddle beneath which I dream blossoms and birds, but
when I wake, icicles hang from the eaves, the size of a man and twice as lethal.”

Here’s my favourite poet, being awesome.

Want a story on your shirt? A limited edition story, no less? Head to I Love Boxie.

HOT GUYS READING BOOKS. Enough said.

“We’re all practitioners of an art that doesn’t generally interest or impress the vast majority of people, and most of us will struggle to be heard, read, enjoyed and make a living out of our art. It is therefore quite darkly hilarious that many poets do not read other poets work, and nor do many performance poets attend performance poetry events.”

Jenny Lindsay is fabzilliant in this guest post at LumpInTheThroat, about the “divide” between page and stage.

What happens when bad men are also great writers.

Neil Gaiman’s assistant tells you the 10 Things you should never send to your favourite writer (no matter how obsessively you love them).

Think you can’t fight crime? Try making your damn bed!

How to be the most annoying author ever… and why dating a writer really isn’t all that cool.

“Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free.”

I’m not normally into all this self-help type stuff, but the Manifesto of Encouragement is pretty darned encouraging!

You’ve got to love Hark! A Vagrant!. It’s like, the law.

“You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.”

Comic Sans speaks out at McSweeneys

A really interesting blog about the difficulty of being a self-promoting artist.

Hey, remember Jacqueline Howett and her comment rage?!

Writing a female character? Use this flowchart!

“Some blind date has persuaded you to go to a poetry slam. On the stage you see people shouting horrifying personal and global traumas with lines like “And I wonder / if George Bush was a woman / would he still let his Dick / do most of his thinking?” A valid question, but it is not the type of ambience that leads to a second date.”

Why everyone hates poetry.

My favourite webcomic strip of all time, I think.

Photos of female writers looking awesome… in spite of these disturbing publishing trends.

Typewriter p0rn!

“”Oh, yes. That. Well, the sperm comes out of the man’s penis and it goes into the woman’s vagina. This happens when the two do what’s called, ‘have sex’. And that’s where the egg – there’s usually only one in the woman’s pond at a time – gets fertilised.” Only after the fact did I realise that I had said the words penis and vagina and sex in a strained, sotto voce tone. This was also something my own mother would have done.”
When The Birds and The Bees Talk gets out of control…

Photos of great writers at their typewriters!

Who doesn’t want to see great writers go head to head in a war of words?

“A student said to me yesterday, “I didn’t know professors could have long hair.” I said, “They can. If you do something well, people won’t bother you. That’s true in all professions. If you are the one guy who can fix the computers, you can keep a boa constrictor in your office. No one will say a thing.” His eyes flashed. Possibly he “went over to the dark side”… or something. I felt happy for 11 seconds.”
I still think about this article a lot: on teaching creative writing.

So… why do we all want to be ‘well read’ anyway?

Writing an application for an MFA? Some crucial dos and don’ts.

“If a customer tells me she’s looking for a book by a man and there’s a girl in it but she can’t remember the author or the title, I give her Lolita. If she’s looking for “that popular book about the animals”: Animal Farm. “That controversial book my book club is reading”: The Autobiography of Malcolm X. “The book with a red cover and the word ‘the’ in the title”: The Joy of Sex. I’m a bookseller, not a magician. My dark-framed glasses and skinny jeans possess only so much magic.
If you read nothing else from this post, read Bookseller I Would Like To F***.

So funny. So cringe-y. So true. The Ultimate Celebrity Interview.

25 Things Writers Should Stop Doing Right Fucking Now.

I loved this so much at the time and rediscovering it was a joy! Serious patience and craftsmanship right here:

Basically the most bad-ass bloke ever right here:

My favourite Lady Gaga song. For reals.

My little sister is megatalented.

I SO HEART GEORGE WATSKY.

My favourite short film of all time. (+ an amazing soundtrack!)

Wizard Smoke from Salazar on Vimeo.

Watch. Be amused.

Edinburgh’s hippest cyclist.

Sweet song, and the cutest music video ever.

It’s terrible, but you kind of have to love it.

What he said.

“I’m going to write smart things about Death in Literature.”

Shakespeare vs Dr Seuss (OMG Watsky <3)

Phew! Here’s to the next 100. Have a great weekend!

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One Night Stanzas loves mail. Say hello via [email protected]. NB: I am physically unable to reply to non-urgent stuff unless I have a free afternoon and a cup of tea in my hand. Please be patient!

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